Significant Snail

Tuesday Graphs n LOL's

2011-12-06T06:24:00.000-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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Tuesday Graphs n LOLs

2011-11-29T07:00:00.001-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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Tuesday Graphs n Lols

2011-11-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

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Tuesday Graphs n LOL's

2011-11-15T18:32:00.003-05:00

I know It's Not Enough..

2011-11-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

"Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I'm not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be." -- John Wayne

Time For Some Fun!

2011-10-29T12:39:00.004-04:00

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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A Breast by Any Other Name...

2011-10-19T22:02:00.004-04:00

I made a Wordle Cloud with the word breast spelled out in several languages. I hope you enjoy my beautiful 'breasts'!

Seriously?! A Look at the Nursing Bra of Yore...

2011-10-14T23:01:00.005-04:00

Alright ladies, if you were lucky enough to be around in the mid to late 1800's you might possibly have worn one of these beauties!

Yes, it's a nursing bra! Well...nursing corset is more likely what you'd call this. Or nursing torture device. It's quite the specimen is it not? Love those flaps! Woo-hoo! Just pour yourself into it...like sand in an hourglass. Then put your pettycoats and hoops and dress over this and you are ready to go!

Note the adjustable, lace up back for your comfort! It's hard to imagine forcing myself in to one of these before pregnancy let alone after giving birth. Of course it was likely not worn until after some period of confinement but I'll tell you what - I don't care how much baby weight you lost, this would still be a nightmare. Hmmmm. I feel downright scantily clad after looking at this!

Hey, it's still October, so wander over yonder and fund a mammogram by clicking the link! Your mammaries will thank you..or someone's mammaries will thank you..

A Toast To Breasts!

2011-10-10T19:14:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, last year, I was at a sports bar with friends watching a hockey game. Someone at the table ordered up a round of drinks and we got a:

Buttery Nipple: 1 part each of Butterscotch Schnapps and Bailey's Irish Cream. Oh my gosh was it ever delicious!

When I looked it up I saw that there were several variations and since I am a lover of Goldschlager I thought I may have to try a:

Nipple on Fire: Same as above but with an equal part of Cinnamon Schnapps thrown in.

Go ahead and tipple a nipple, if you dare, and don't forget to click on the breast cancer link over yonder!

Cleavage

2011-10-05T19:34:00.004-04:00

The capacity of a rock to split along certain parallel surfaces more easily than along others.

Not what you were expecting was it?

The intramammary cleft, or space between a woman's breasts. When viewed from the side it is known as side cleavage or sideboob. When seen from the underside it is known as neathage, or Australian cleavage (down-under), or underboob.

Just thought you'd like to know! Now please click the Breast Cancer link over there on the left. Thanks!

The Triple Nipple

2011-10-04T18:29:00.006-04:00

In my effort to keep you abreast of all things boob related I present to you: Triple Nipple!

One to two percent of North Americans have a supernumerary, or triple, nipple. Maybe that should be supermammary nipple. The majority of third nipples are neighbors of the usual nipples but have been known to occur on other parts of the body - including the bottom of the foot. Ouch!

Triple nipples occur more often in men than women, wouldn't you think it would be the other way around? Extra nipples usually don't form as a full breast - that would be known as an 'accessory' breast. What's that? You thought all breasts are accessories? Well...sorta, maybe....I mean, they do add to the look of an outfit. Except on men. Unless the man is wearing I tight fitting t-shirt. Ahem.

Never Give a Fembot a Mammogram

2011-10-03T19:51:00.006-04:00

Nothing says, "Keep your hands to yourself!" like the sight of a double-barrel Fembot! If I were a radiology technician I certainly wouldn't ask one of these gals to step up to the 'plate.' Even Austin Powers, with all his mojo, wouldn't dare. Nuff said!!

Men and Breasts

2011-10-02T10:46:00.002-04:00

Check it out, ladies - how about that breastplate! Mmmm-mmmmm!

Ah, breasts, they arent' just for women you know! Breast cancer isn't just for women either. According to The American Cancer Society men account for about 1% of breast cancer cases. In 2010 it was expected that about 1,970 new cases of breast cancer in men would be diagnosed and would result in approximately 390 deaths in men (almost 40,000 women die of breast cancer each year). A man's lifetime risk of developing breast cancer is about 1/10 of 1%, or one in 1,000.

While this breast plate will protect a man's breasts (and all those fabulous abs (6-pack? 12-pack? 20-pack?) from all manner of weaponry inflicted harm it won't protect him from breast cancer. Nope, no protection there. So we must rely on manual breast exam. You see where this is going, don't you? I would gladly volunteer to feel this guy up. Oops! Did I just say that? Ladies, if you love a man, feel him up. For his own good of course.

Gentlemen, seriously....protect your boobies!

This has been a public service announcement.

Gaze Into My Ta Ta's!

2011-10-01T11:38:00.000-04:00

Is this not the most mesmerizing bra ever? Are you getting dizzy just gazing at it? I think it would take a hypnotist to convince me to contort my breasts into this bra. Bet I'd get lots of looks if my chest poked out in double pyramid fashion. Hmmmm. Well, now that I have your attention, please visit the breast cancer link over there on the left side of my page and click to fund mammograms. If you don't, the Brassiere Fairy will visit you during the night and force you into the double pyramid. And believe me, it won't be an uplifting experience.

Oh yeah, welcome to Breast Cancer Awareness month. Come back each day for more uplifting experiences!

Friday Fun

2011-09-23T18:37:00.003-04:00

see more Memebase and check out our Troll Face lols!

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see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

The Perfect Set-Up

2011-07-22T21:43:00.000-04:00

This evening my daughter and I were browsing in a local import store when we came across the bundles you see in the photo here. It started innocently enough when we came across a barrel at the end of a deserted aisle which contained bundles of bamboo - Exhibit A, seen on the right in the photo. My beloved daughter proceeded to pick up a bundle and pseudo-smack me with it in a dramatic, ninja-like fashion. Keep in mind that there were no witnesses to my beating. My response was swift. After she put back her bundle I picked up an adjacent bundle of HARMLESS thatchy stuff and began to poke and torment her with it - Exhibit B, seen on the left in the photo. Of course what I didn't know is that just as I began to harrass her, a lady came down the aisle behind me (headed to the bathroom) and my daughter, seeing the witness, said loudly, "Mom! Stop being a child!" At this point I saw said woman and put down my bundle of thatchy stuff. As you can imagine, I got a funny look. My daughter and I went on browsing through the store without further ado but with much laughter at her perfect set up.

Eventually we decided that this episode needed to be posted here, with photo evidence. So, we walked back, set up the bundles and took the picture above JUST AS THE WOMAN CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM! My daughter, of course, had bolted around the corner so that I was the only one getting the weird looks again! This entire incident made my daughter's day. One can only imagine what this woman was doing in the bathroom all this time - maybe calling the police to report a psychotic woman, beating her child in public! "Just stay in your stall ma'am, and we'll send someone right over. If you see her again, do not engage the suspect. Just walk away as discretely as possible." Imagine her conversation when she got home. "Honey,you should have seen the way that woman treated her precious child - some people shouldn't be ALLOWED to have children! Beating her with sticks!"

They weren't sticks. They were switches, bitches.

It's All Good....

2011-06-15T19:37:00.002-04:00

My friend at work will be singing this at his church soon. He's been playing this in his office lately as he prepares and I've taken a liking to it. Beautiful harmonies. Enjoy!

Time for Some Fun!

2011-06-05T00:17:00.000-04:00

see more funny videos, and check out our Forever Alone lols!

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

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Freedom is Not Free

2011-05-30T09:49:00.003-04:00

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

- Kelly Strong -

The image above is of the Korean War Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Mid-Week Fun

2011-02-08T22:09:00.003-05:00

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Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T17:01:00.002-05:00

Now for a refreshing paws...

2010-12-21T21:54:00.008-05:00

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Q: What do you call a cat crossing the Atacama Desert?
A: Sandy Claws

Merry Christmas, all!

Time For A Little Levity...

2010-11-27T09:42:00.004-05:00

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Time for Some Fun...

2010-09-24T14:23:00.003-04:00

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Tuesday Graphs n LOL's

2010-05-11T16:48:00.002-04:00

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Three Destinations...Or One?

2010-02-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

I was in Phoenix for Christmas and came across this sign one day. Kind of makes you wonder if the Prison, Surprise and Zoo are all the same destination?!

Anyway, speaking of zoos and surprises, when I saw this sign I was on my way to a family gathering - a surprise 80th birthday party for my dad. We had more than 30 family members and numerous friends there for the fun. We also had some dance instructors come in and give us a group lesson in salsa and swing. Oh, and some terrific sangria... Oh yeah - it was fun!

By the way, there really is a town called Surprise in Arizona.

Can It Be?

2010-01-08T10:33:00.002-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kentigern/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Oh dear, can it be true? In just one year from today I'll be the big Five-Oh. And I do mean OH!!!

For Crying Out Loud!

2010-01-05T23:15:00.000-05:00

Hello from sunny Florida. Yes, that's right, SUNNY FLORIDA!! Oh, it was sunny alright. With a beautiful blue sky too.

The high was 44. Figure in the wind chill and it was more like 34.

In the middle of the day.

In Florida. Sunny Florida.

The low tonight is supposed to be 21.

Degrees.

In Florida.

That's damn cold.

Damn cold in Sunny Florida.

Don't you know, just for kicks, my gas light came on just as I was getting home from work? Normally I would wait and get gas on the way to work in the morning but I'm very sure I won't want to stand outside pumping gas tomorrow morning.

I fixed dinner and pretty much forgot about the gas tank until about 9:30 tonight, and by then the temperature had dropped to 27.

27 degrees.

In Florida.

Beautiful, tropical Sunny Florida.

Out, You Swine!

2009-09-17T17:35:00.006-04:00

Behold the tiny bastards that have taken over our lives! Yes, it's none other than H1N1, brought to you today for your viewing pleasure via AJC1 at Flickr. It looks so lovely and lavender doesn't it? But don't be fooled! These fluffy, puffy harbingers of misery and malaise are not so attractive as they appear.
First down was eldest daughter who was sick for four days a couple weeks ago, seemed to recover for a few days, and then took ill again. Then last Sunday, youngest daughter got caught in the clutches of H1N1, seemed to rally mid week, then relapsed and remains unwell. Hopefully she will be well enough to go back to school Monday.
As for me? Well, that heavy feeling in my chest and the nagging headache...I'm doing my best not to acknowledge them. Shoo piggy, shoo!

Hello, World...How Have You Been?

2009-09-01T07:47:00.003-04:00

Well, school has started here and once again I find myself with a million things to do and not enough time, money or energy to do them all! The Snail household made it through the first week scathed (I'd like to say unscathed, but that would be a lie!) and we are into the second. Eldest missed 2 days of school last week due to illness. Thought it was swine flu, but she recovered too quickly for it to be that. Then youngest missed monday due to similar-yet-not-as-bad illness.

Eldest is now a senior - with all of the glory and gore that entails! Picture my life going to hell in a handbasket, here.... Those of you who have been through this know of all the extra stuff that goes on senior year. Eldest is taking classes in the morning and looking for an afternoon job. She is also shopping for her first car - which is more than I can take! We were out test driving cars this weekend and if we were cats we'd have lost two lives. Amazing how some TCBY made it all so much better.

Youngest has a reletively calmer life, except for being a seventh grader. Ah, middleschool drama! What special hell it is! Remember all the angst? Blemishes, cliques, what to wear, how to fix your hair, make-up (whether to wear it and how much and what color...), dances (!!) young love, followed by young heartbreak, advice from your ancient parents who don't know anything. Yeah, wouldn't do it again if you paid me.

I think we finally have all of the supplies we need. There's always an item or two that can't be easily found. For example, there is always some teacher who specifies a specific color and type of folder. It must be blue, plastic, with prong fasteners and pockets. You know before you even look that the store will have every color and combination but that one! This year there was a request for marble composition books. No fancy colors or patterns, just the basic black and white. Last year they had mountains of them. This year...well...it took some looking.

So, now that things are (hopefully) calming down a bit I will try to do better about posting here on a more regular basis. I feel so neglectful of my blog lately!

Happy Fall, y'all!

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

2009-08-21T10:07:00.003-04:00

We went out for Chinese food last night and at the end of the meal we encountered the following bit of Fortune Cookie Wisdom:

"May the warm winds of heaven blow softly upon your sprint."

What?!

My sprint?

Will this help me run better or keep my calls from dropping? Anyone have any ideas on this? Enlighten me, please!

It Was Just A Short Trip Through Lowe's . .

2009-08-12T07:50:00.003-04:00

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I've been thinking about doing some painting lately, you know, to freshen things up at home. Nothing like some fresh paint now and then. There are some problems, however.

The first problem is choosing the color. See, I want to get it right the first time so I don't have to go back to the store for a re-mix and come back home and repaint the section I started. So I agonize over color choice for a long time! The other problem is that I rent and therefore would have to repaint when I move. Which may be next summer, and while I don't hate painting, I really don't want to do it again that soon!

The next problem(s) is/are my daughters. I want to paint the main living area. They want to paint their rooms as well. If we go that far, I may as well paint my room, too! I don't want to do that much painting (yes, they will help) because it's that much more to re-paint before moving. Maybe we could do accent walls . . .

The last problem is . . . . once the paint is on the walls, the rest of everything will look 'unfresh' and I'll want to re-decorate! That, my friends, becomes costly and time consuming! That's not even factoring in the carpet (!!!) which I will certainly want to cover with a decorative rug to go with the fresh paint.

Funny how a short trip through Lowe's turns into a major road trip through my home!

58 Years Ago Today. . .

2009-08-04T12:27:00.003-04:00

Fifty-eight years ago today a young man and a young woman embarked on the adventure of a lifetime. Those years have brought many children, grandchildren and even some great-grandchildren their way. There have been ups and downs and trips down many roads, literally and figuratively speaking! I'm sure if you asked, they would tell you it has all gone by quickly. Ok, so the fun parts probably sped by a bit faster than the hard parts, right? I'm sure when they started out they had no idea where this adventure would lead or how long it might go on. Life is just full of surprises, isn't it? I don't think any of us would have it any other way, though.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!

It's the 1st of the Month . . .

2009-08-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

and you know what that means!

RABBIT RABBIT!!

The Turtle

2009-07-29T13:04:00.004-04:00

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal it's sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile!

~Ogden Nash~

Another Duh Moment

2009-07-14T06:12:00.006-04:00

Well, it's happened twice in two days: headlines that really don't surprise me. I can't quite decide which of the two is more obvious. Is it the news piece about how cats control us? Or could it be the bit about how swearing makes us feel better?

Let's start with cats. Cat's use a specialized meow/purr combo to control us. I can tell you, from my vast cat/human interactive experiences, that it's not just the meow/purr that gets us moving. My cats control me in the kitchen just by sitting and staring at me. That's it. That's all they have to do. I go in the kitchen to fix food. Cat walks in. Cat sits. Cat looks up at me. I see cat looking at me and respond with food. It's that simple. Pay me now for my valuable insight, please!

As for swearing? Well #*!## yeah it makes you feel better! According to what I read some researchers took it upon themselves to study swearing and pain. I'd like to see a video of that experiment.

"Hey Bob! I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind when I smash your thumb with this hammer..."

It seems swearing triggers our 'fight or flight' response, which in turn increases our pain tolerance. When Bob's thumb gets hammered, bad language spews forth from his emotional right brain rather than the language producing left brain. Huh. What do you know. I can just imagine what sort of people these researchers are.

Interestingly, the researcher and his colleagues also made a connection between swearing and aggression. Well, yeah! Hurt me to study my swearing response and I'll get aggressive too!

You know, I could have combined both topics in one bit of research. Cat scratches/bites human. Human swears. Cat gets fed. Everybody feels better.

So, where do I sign up for a research grant?

Change Is Good - You Go First . . .

2009-07-13T07:00:00.002-04:00

I saw that little quip on a sign the other day and it gave me a good laugh. I don't think I make changes too easily - little ones, yes. I have made some hairstyle changes on a whim a few times, but hair grows out. You mess up your hair, you regret it for a few weeks and eventually it gets good again. I did cry once after a particularly bad perm, but other than that the hair changes I regretted were not particularly overwhelming. Bored with the color of the towels? Pick a new color and redecorate the bathroom. Buying new dishes? Well, that one took more thought but still nothing too difficult. But the bigger the change, the more time I take about it - I just won't do a thing until I'm darn good and ready. I've got to shop around, think it through, psyche myself into making a change - even when it would be in my best interest to go ahead and just make the change. A big decision can't be made unless I've agonized my way through it. Yeah, I procrastinate on the big stuff.

There are times when changes are forced on us in a hurry and we can't sit back and watch while someone else goes first. Being a middle child you get to see your older siblings grow and change and do things first and that takes away some of the scariness factor of growing and changing. But sometimes we don't have the luxury of thinking things through or waiting to wrap our heads around a new idea. Sometimes we can't wait while someone else goes first because it's our turn to be first. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow or be dragged kicking and screaming to the next destination in life.

Lately I've been thinking about making changes. I've grown complacent in some ways and I need to shake things up, get out of the rut. It's time for something new, like.... dating. Ouch! That one's tough. Here comes the kicking and screaming. I've been single for four years now, so certainly it's time I dipped my toes back in the water. That's no small feat for someone who imagines alligators and poisonous snakes in the water. Various people have been after me from time to time to get out there and start dating but I've successfully ignored them. There's just too much scariness factor and I could spend the rest of my life wrapping my head around the idea of dating again.

Well, I think that's about to change as I've been talking with someone lately that I just can't seem to ignore anymore. Seriously, this guy has been my neighbor for about a year now and it's taken me this long to really talk to him. You know, like having a conversation that lasts more than, say, thirty seconds. In fact, we've gone out walking together a couple of times now and had actual conversations! Really! I'm not even making this up! "Danger Will Robinson!" says the voice in my head. But what do you know, the earth didn't open up and swallow me. I didn't insert my foot in my mouth (that I know of), and I didn't keel over with a heart attack. Somehow I don't seem to have scared him away. Apparently I still know how to make conversation. Ok, so there's a big difference between talking and dating, but talking is a start. Change is on the way...and it looks like I'm up to bat.

My First Blogiversary!

2009-07-11T07:00:00.004-04:00

Well what do you know, it's been a year since my first post on Significant Snail! Last year I was a Blogutante, making my debut. Today, after a trip around the block, I'm still something of a newbie. Amazingly, I am still posting, though not always as often as I would like or have planned.

Let me take a minute to give credit where due, to my younger daughter. You see, I was looking for a template to begin my blog and had found two that I liked. One was a relaxing scene of a hilltop at sunset with a large shade tree and a bench. I thought it looked like a suitable place to sit and talk and tell a story each day. Kind of predictable.

The other template was a snail. A rather attractive looking snail, I thought, but I wasn't sure what a snail had to do with storytelling, or anything else for that matter. Enter my daughter, who immediately said I had to choose the snail. I flipped back and forth between the templates for a while, and with her urging chose the snail. But still, I wasn't sure what a snail had to do with anything. This isn't a nature blog. I'm no biologist for Pete's sake. What could be significant about a snail? Turns out the snail was significant in his own right, and so a blog was born. I'm so glad my daughter ~~forced~~ convinced me to go for the snail.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

~Robert Frost~

This blog has certainly proven to be an enjoyable hobby for me, and as such has made a difference to me. It has been a place to share and a place to take a break from the complications that crop up in life. I'm looking forward to another year of the same and I hope you'll all tag along for the ride!

Road Games

2009-07-06T17:19:00.009-04:00

I love a good road trip now and then, and my children do as well. It's always an adventure, even if the destination is someplace we've been before. The subject of road trips came up recently, more particularly the subject of avoiding boredom on a road trip. Years ago, my brother joined me on a road trip that spanned southern Arizona and southern New Mexico. At one point he began to keep a 'journal' of road kill. Pavement pizza, if you will. The journal read something like this:

3:10 p.m., November 11th, 1986, great tufts of fur sprouting from the pavement in the right-hand, southbound lane of I-10. The next entry was perhaps a deer pizza, bunny biscuits, or some other flattened beast.

When the girls and I travel we, a) bring stuff to entertain ourselves or, b) make up games to entertain ourselves. When all else fails there's always sleep. Well, unless you are driving. At any rate, my girls are old enough to be good at road trips. The first couple of hours aren't a problem: music, sleep, nintendo, toys, conversation. It's after those first hours, and especially as more time goes by, that things get difficult. Counting games are always good. Sometimes we count how many times we hear a particular song during our drive, like Poker Face, by Lady Gaga (if you are young or have teens you know this song). A few years ago we were driving through a particular county in Mississippi and we kept seeing red trucks. Everywhere. So we began counting red trucks. We stopped counting after 200. Seems everyone in southern Mississippi had a red truck. After that we always referred to that region as Red Truck Country.

Sometimes things get downright interesting. In the not-too-distant past one of my daughters brought a couple of beanie babies along. She also brought some clothes for them to wear and various accessories. You haven't lived until you've seen cross dressed beanie babies taking part in a shotgun wedding. Ahem. Yeah, that'll make time fly!

On our most recent trip the girls and I invented a new game which we simply refer to as, "The Cat". I don't know how it even started but the idea is that one person begins by making a statement involving 'The Cat', and then each of us takes turns coming up with new 'things' regarding 'The Cat'. The statements can be random or can be linked by a common thread, such as the cat's emotional state: 'The Cat' is sad, perturbed, elated etc; or each statement has to use a verb: 'The Cat' is jumping, playing parcheesi, eating kibble etc. Eventually 'The Cat' became unstable and condensed, and there was a deflagration. Of course the statements become more ridiculous as you go, with each person trying to think of something more obtuse than the last. The game went on for over an hour. I don't know how we thought of so many statements to make about 'The Cat', but we did.

How about you? Got any road games?

By the way, how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face....

O'er the Land of the Free. . .

2009-07-04T07:00:00.003-04:00

This is a photo of the actual flag that Francis Scott Key saw flying over Ft. McHenry. This flag had 15 stars and 15 stripes and originally measured 30x42 feet. Damage from the battle that Francis Scott Key witnessed reduced the flag to 30x34 feet. It has been kept since 1912 at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C.

It is a tradition that when a new flag is designed for use by the United States, it is first flown over Fort McHenry, over the same ramparts referred to in the National Anthem. Our anthem began as a poem entitled Defense of Fort McHenry, and was eventually set to music. The song quickly became accepted as our National Anthem. During the World Series of Baseball in 1917 it was sung in honor of our armed forces fighting in the Great War, and was so moving that it was repeated for every game thereafter. The Star Spangled Banner was officially declared our National Anthem in 1931.

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

~Francis Scott Key~

Rabbit-Rabbit

2009-07-01T07:00:00.002-04:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/whatwhat/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Tuesday Graphs 'n LOL's

2009-06-30T07:00:00.002-04:00

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DON'T FORGET! TOMORROW IS THE 1ST, SO BE PREPARED - RABBIT, RABBIT...

Sunday Drive of A Different Sort

2009-06-28T18:16:00.000-04:00

We were driving along the highway on our way to a family gathering a couple weeks back when what do we see but this fellow, driving down the road in total comfort. Well, I guess it was comfortable because I can't imagine any other reason that you would drive with a foot out the window!

It took me a couple tries to get this shot because just as I was about to click, the traffic changed and he pulled his foot in and put his hand back on the steering wheel. Luckily it wasn't long before traffic eased up and the hand and foot came back out. Notice that I didn't get a shot of the lovely wildflowers earlier in the day, or the field of goats. Or a city skyline we passed. Nope. Nothing like that. Just some guy's foot. Oh, and my daughter was driving - I try not to take pictures while I'm behind the wheel, although it has happened a time or two...

A Miscellaneous Adventure With the Snail Household

2009-06-26T15:48:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago we Snail ladies did some summer shopping. While I was at the checkout making a purchase, my daughter's were wandering about the store. When I was finished at the checkout my older daughter began to rush me out the door. I figured she was bored with my store and wanted to move on to one of her choice. When we stopped a couple shops down to browse jewelry she told me she had accidentally broken off a mannequin hand in the store we just left. I asked her what she had done with the hand and she said she had set it on top of the other hand, hoping no one would notice.
I spent a number of years working in retail and knew that it probably wasn't broken. I also remembered that I had my camera along and, much to her embarrassment, I went back to the previous shop to take a look. This is the sight that greeted me. As you can see, our lovely mannequin friend is sporting two hands on one side. I realized right away that the hand wasn't really broken and showed my daughter how the hand fits into the wrist and twists back together. But not before getting a couple shots of her 'handy work'.

A couple of quick pictures (and a lot of laughter) and we were on our way, but not before a salesperson noticed. Thankfully the store personnel were good natured!

Tuesday Graphs 'n LOL's

2009-06-23T07:00:00.001-04:00

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Hobo Joe, Mutant Killer Veggies and Baby-Love

2009-06-20T20:34:00.000-04:00

My daughters and I just got back from a trip up to Virginia for a family gathering. While we were away my daughter's boyfriend looked after our cats, so we wanted to do something nice for him in return. We pulled off I-95 at Walterboro, S.C. for the night and the next morning we headed to breakfast at the nearby Waffle House. Just across from us was this:
What better gift to give her boyfriend than a bag full of fireworks? This shop was great: there was a video running that shows you what all the bigger rockets look like so you know what you're getting, and the owner was very helpful, with detailed descriptions and recommendations - sometimes steering us to less expensive things that he thought we'd enjoy more than some we had chosen. He even threw in a few freebies. It helps that this was a Friday morning and we were the only customers in the store. Did I mention that it was quite hot out and that his storefront provided great shade for me to park in while we had breakfast? Yeah, we like Hobo Joe's. (Special thanks to Lance McCord for sharing this photo on Flickr).

After our Fireworks shopping spree we took a side trip down to Charleston, S.C. I wanted to take a break from Interstate driving and scout out Charleston for a future trip. On our way out of Charleston we came across this building:
Looks like a lovely place doesn't it? What caught my eye and had us laughing was the sign in front of the building (you know, the sign I didn't get a picture of...) We were short on time and I didn't turn back to get a photo, so I found this one online when we got home. This is the U.S. Vegetable Laboratory. That's right - a lab for veggies. You know what that means - Mutant Killer Veggies!!

"The mission of the Laboratory since its beginning has been to obtain, through fundamental research, basic information requisite to efficient and orderly breeding of improved vegetable crops for the southern region, and to produce new and improved vegetable cultivars and breeding stocks."

Sure, that's what they want you to think. I bet they're working on some of the greatest biological weapons ever! Things like beets that live up to their name. Artichoke grenades. Water-board-melons. Ears of corn that eavesdrop while the eyes of your potatoes spy on you! Yeah, we had fun with that one for several miles. Anything to liven up a long road trip.

The rest of the drive home was filled with my daughter's sighs and exclamations of how much she missed her boyfriend. You know, the guy she said would miss her more than she would miss him while we were away... Yeah. She has a lot of ooey-gooey nicknames for him. One of her favorites is Baby-Love. The sighing and fretting went like this, "Awwwwww, I miss my Baby-Love!" Repeat that, or a variation of it, every few miles and you too can relive the experience! Occasionally she would doze off and give me a break.

Baby-Love was going to take her out to dinner when we arrived home. Except that life has a way of getting in the way of big plans. Like us taking longer than expected in Charleston, and road construction slow downs. Then things got worse: Baby-Love's grandmother fell and sustained a head injury and he and his dad were possibly going to leave before we arrived back in town. This led to much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth by my daughter. Ok, not really but sort of...Anyhow, this certainly led to more texting and calling. So much so that my phone started ringing because my daughter's battery was dying. How convenient that she told him to call/text my phone. Luckily the grandmother is expected to recover. Unluckily, we arrived home too late for dinner out. Not to worry though, they are dining out tonight. My daughter and Baby-Love will still have to endure the agony of separation though, as he is leaving tomorrow for a week. I say it's good for them to have some time apart.

Oh, and he loves the fireworks...beats a T-shirt any day. You know, the one that says, "My girlfriend went on vacation and all I got was this lousy shirt . . . and cat duty."

Tuesday Graphs 'n LOL's

2009-06-16T07:00:00.008-04:00

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Teenagers

2009-06-13T08:53:00.006-04:00

This is me. I look like this because I am the mother of teenagers. Well, technically only one of them is a teenager - the other will gain that status over the summer. If you have teens or you've ever had teens you can relate to this picture. This woman looks like she's slightly amused but the hand-over-face expression could easily be changed to exasperation, anger, shock...well, you know.

Teens are an interesting species. Those of you who have parented or worked with teens know that it's possible to reach the peaks of joy and the pits of despair, sometimes within moments of each other. It's some sort of temporary (well, for a few years) bi-polar experience. Yes, they are continually amazing.

Sometimes they really surprise us. For example, this morning my oldest is taking the ACT. That's not the surprise. Her boyfriend is as well. Also not the surprise. Since they had to be up early they decided to stay in and 'chill' last night and get to bed early. Early turned out to be just past midnight. My idea of early and hers are obviously two different things. So, in order to chill they needed a movie to watch. Boyfriend kindly provided the evening's entertainment, which turned out to be.....THE NEVER ENDING STORY. Yes, that was the surprise part. I expected some science fiction, or murder and intrigue or a comedy. But Never Ending Story? My eldest remembers this childhood movie fondly. Her boyfriend was creeped out by it as a child, but apparently not too badly since he owns it. My younger daughter doesn't recall ever seeing it so she watched too and they all had a great time. Who would have thought?

Old Mr. Umph Had a Puncture in His Tire. . .

2009-06-09T07:00:00.002-04:00

. . . and he fixed it with a wad of chewing gum.

We used to sing that song as children, does anyone else remember it? I think the 'real' version was Old Mr. Ford had a puncture in his tire. I believe the 'umph' part comes from singing the song and replacing words one at a time with the word umph. You know, like when you sing rounds of B-I-N-G-O and gradually replace each letter with a hand-clap. It's right up there with, "On Top of Spaghetti" and "John Jacob Jinkleheimer Schmidt".

There's a word for this sort of improvised repair: jerry-rigging. The term comes from either a) jury-rigging, a sailing term; or b) the WWII slang for German engineering on the fly. When I was young and first heard this term I thought it referred to my uncle Jerry. It's plausible! He did farming and construction, so of course he would know how to rig things. Then again, my dad, grandfather and other uncles had the same abilities so the term could have been named for any one of them. I didn't really stop to wonder.

Well, just like Mr. Umph, we've all had occasion to make a repair to something using less than ideal materials. There's glue, duct tape and twine. And then there's the more unusual remedies. In early May I was driving to south Florida for my nephew's wedding when a piece of plastic trim around my front windshield came loose. It wasn't a hazard so much as a nuisance, as it kept flapping up in the wind. I pulled off for a rest break and began to search my car for tape. All I could could come up with was . . . a band-aid. Yep, I fixed my car's boo-boo with a band-aid. Got some funny looks but it worked.

I've heard of people filling small nail holes in the wall with toothpaste (basic white, not gel!). My parents once used dental floss to rig the windshield wiper on their RV when it gave out during a rainy drive. I believe they had to thread it back through the side window and give a pull now and then. Once my ex super-glued some small parts together in our car engine when we got stuck on the road somewhere and it held up quite well. I'll bet you can all think of plenty more examples, so tell me about your inner MacGyver - what's one of your creative fixes?

Tuesday Graphs 'n LOL's

2009-06-02T07:00:00.001-04:00

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Happy Tuesday everyone.

Rabbit Rabbit

2009-06-01T07:00:00.001-04:00

Are you familiar with this harbinger of good luck? On the first of every month, when you awake, you must say the words,"rabbit rabbit" so that you will have good luck the rest of the month. I read somewhere that if you forget, you'll still get good luck if "tibbar, tibbar" are the last words out of your mouth as you fall asleep that night. Apparently it's extra good luck if it's the first day of your birth month. The two rabbits at left (created by Tom Claassen) were on display in Regents park, London, where they were photographed and placed on Flickr by Baronvonhorne. I love Flickr because you can find everything there, including a nice pair of rabbits.

There are variations on this ~~superstition~~ tradition and I'm not sure where it all started. Years ago (high school) I learned "rabbit rabbit" from one of my aunts (thanks, C*****)! I dutifully repeated the words each month and I even went so far as to wear a pair of rabbit earrings. Over the years I'd forgotten about "rabbit rabbit" until I came across it on a blog called Old Horsetail Snake. The fellow who posted on that blog used to keep up the "rabbit rabbit" tradition on the first of each month. Old Horsetail was an elderly gentleman who was busy surviving beyond his doctor's prognosis. His blog was full of humor and always a pleasure to read. Old Horestail moved on to that great rabbit warren in the sky a couple of months ago, so in his honor I am sharing "rabbit rabbit" with you today.

The Royal Goat

2009-05-27T22:54:00.000-04:00

Lance Corporal William Windsor retired from military life last week. "Billy" served as a member of the 1st Battalion o the Royal Welsh. What? A regimental goat? Well who knew? Look at that fine fellow. He's even sporting full ceremonial dress! See that headpiece? It's a silver plaque,a gift from the Queen, a tradition started back in 1884 when Queen Victoria presented one to the first royal goat.

Lance Corporal "Billy" Windsor served for eight years, getting stripped of rank once for "..trying to head butt a drummer’s backside during a parade to mark the Queen’s birthday.." After making amends through exceptional performance at another event he was restored full privileges - including the right to be saluted.

Speaking of salutes, here's Billy giving the Royal Salute. Smartly done, Billy! According to one account I read, the tradition of the 'regimental' goat began back during America's fight for independence from Britain. Seems a wild goat wandered onto a battle field and wound up leading the regiment at the end of a battle. Soon a replacement will be chosen and trained to carry on the tradition. I don't know about you, but I think he's adorable and if I'm ever in England I plan to stop by the Whipsnade Zoo and meet the old goat myself.

Pay It Forward

2009-05-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you have all heard of random acts of kindness and the idea of 'paying it forward'. Annie of Blue Gables had a post on April 30th called Pay it Forward and I decided to try it myself. I enjoy making all sorts of things, so this ought to be fun. Here are the rules for those of you who wish to join in:

I will make and send a surprise to the first 5 bloggers who leave a comment and agree to join in. If you aren't a blogger - start a blog! Or you could arrange a Pay it Forward with your co-workers, neighbors or ??? This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. This is an adventure!

2. What I create will be just for you with love and good wishes. It will be made of actual materials, not of cyberspace.

3. It will be done this year (2009).

4. I will not give you any clue what it’s going to be! Well, I may ask a question or two about your tastes etc, depending on what I make.

5. In return, all you need to do is post this text on your Blog and create five things for the first 5 people to respond to your post.

6. Send your mailing address after I contact you.

IMPORTANT: This offer is null and void if you do not post on your own blog to pay this forward.

Think you're not crafty enough? If you are feeling a little skittish don't worry! There are many things that can be made, whether you sew, craft, cook, write etc. Your gift could be a poem, a recipe and the makings (like cookie mix or soup ingredieants in a jar), homemade soap or candles, a cd with some music you made or songs you think the person will like. I'll tell you what, if you want to join in and you're having trouble thinking of something, let me know and I'll brainstorm with you, ok?

I think this is going to be lots of fun and I hope you will give it a shot!

A Common Problem

2009-05-21T07:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this driving home from work the other day:

I'm Not Touching You

2009-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

We've all been here, haven't we?

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Mojito: Part Two, er...Dos!

2009-05-16T14:20:00.000-04:00

I did it. I made my first mojito. Then I made my second, and third, and......well, you get the idea. I feel like I know what I'm doing now, so I shall share with you my mojito experience..with pictures even! First off, I don't own a shot glass, or if I do I can't find it. Hence the measuring cup. Very scientific and bar-like, don't you think? I followed the recipe I put on my first mojito post...but changed it as I tasted.

As you can see my drink making supplies leave something to be desired. Since I don't own a 'real' muddler I used the end of a wooden spoon. A muddler has more surface area for muddling so you probably get faster muddled results with one. The ones I've seen on-line resemble miniature baseball bats. I went and read up on muddling too. Apparently you can muddle too much and bring out the bitterness of the fruits / leaves you are muddling. Well. I wouldn't want to do that. I made the simple syrup (2 parts sugar / 1 part water boiled together for a minute). I made plenty for future use...works well for lemonade and iced tea, too. It's the stuff in the ~~mason~~ ball jar,if you were wondering.

Also, no ice crusher. Well, no fancy ice crusher - just the low tech version that looks suspiciously like a hammer. My younger daughter thought that it was gross to use a hammer, until I told her I put the ice in a plastic bag for crushing.

The recipe calls for a sprig of mint. My sprig had about 8 or 10 leaves or so. One recipe I saw called for 12 leaves. Guess it depends on how big the leaves are and how much you like mint. I used one whole lime (reduced to half a lime for all future drinks - much better!), and added a bit more syrup than called for. You can use whatever brands you prefer for club soda and rum (if anyone from Bacardi sees this, feel free to send me a thank you bottle...or two...for my upcoming vacation / family gathering). The verdict? Tasty, refreshing and full of delicitude, or delishitude, depending on your spelling preference for non-existent words....

Mt. Tater

2009-05-11T07:00:00.001-04:00

Who among us hasn't made a mashed potato and gravy volcano on our dinner plate? I did it a lot as a child. My younger daughter recently had the opportunity to make a volcano for a science project and she chose the quintessential mashed potato volcano for hers.

Originally she wanted a gravy eruption - because, hey, who wouldn't? She had this idea the the mountain could erupt and then everyone could dig in. Theoretically this would be possible, but in practice, not so much. We thought about numerous ways to make her volcano erupt but eventually we settled on the basic vinegar and baking soda combo to get the job done. To make our lava red we used condensed tomato soup that was thinned out with some vinegar. We experimented with quantities of baking soda and soup mixture until we got the eruption we were looking for.

Then we built this:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mt. Tater! Yes, its actually made of mashed potatoes. If I had thought of it at the time I would have taken pictures of my daughter up to her elbows in potato flakes and water. Basically, she mixed a couple of large boxes of mashed potato flakes (bargain brand) with water and about 3 eggs. The eggs were to help the mixture hold together. We built Tater Mountain around a water bottle and some wadded paper towels (to lighten the load)and when it was done we 'painted' it with some caramel coloring (the kind you buy to darken gravy). A dusting of pepper around the top was reminiscent of volcanic ash. We did all this the night before and wrapped it in plastic to keep it from drying out.

Each student had to talk about their volcano (what type of volcano and the type of eruption) as well telling about their choice of building materials. One of the nice things about Mt. Tater is that it's easily biodegradable (except the water bottle inside). The opening is plugged with some paper towel and the figure made of paper on top is her science teacher with a word bubble. My daughter and her teacher had an ongoing argument over a test question and my daughter decided to rib her teacher about it by placing him at the top during the eruption. Thankfully he has a good sense of humor! I wasn't able to leave work to attend the actual eruption but I hear it came off as planned and Mt. Tater was the talk of the school. Yes, my daughter was quite pleased with herself!

Mojitos . . .

2009-05-08T18:08:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending my nephew's wedding in South Florida. The bride was beautiful, the groom was beautiful, the weather was beautiful! It was a wonderful weekend and I really enjoyed the getaway. The last night I was there several of us went out to dinner, where we sat out doors and enjoyed the weather, the company and the food. One of my sisters had introduced me to the mojito a few years back and when she ordered one before dinner I jumped on the bandwagon and ordered one as well. Because, you know, they're tasty and light and refreshing...and I hadn't had one in a while.
My drink looked like what you see here, except there was no lime or mint leaves hanging around on the table for a photo op. Now, I'm no connoisseur of mojitos, although that certainly seems like a noble profession, does it not? After one sip of my drink I was ready for a career change. That first sweet sip of minty delicitude (ok, that's not a real word...except in my world) had me thinking "Mojito Connoisseur" was the perfect new job title for me!

A mojito, for the great unwashed (mojito virgins,if you will), is made with fresh mint, sugar syrup, lime juice, rum and club soda. Or sparkling water...depending on what recipe you find. If you don't have sugar syrup (and don't want to make it - come on now, it's only sugar and water boiled together!) you can use plain sugar. I've been reading up on these babies because I'm on a mission this weekend to re-create that perfect and awesome mojito that I experienced.

So, the recipes all say that you have to muddle the mint/limejuice/sugar mixture. Muddling sounds like something I can do! All day in fact. Who wouldn't want to muddle? There's even a tool for muddling - called a muddler! Who'd have thought? Think mortar and pestle. Well, more like tall glass and pestle. I'm telling you this because I want you all to go and try this so I won't be muddling alone this weekend. We can all muddle through this together. Awe, come on, you knew that was coming...

Anyhow, you can use the recipe below or find another on line. They are all fairly similar:

Mojito

* 1 Large Sprig Spearmint
* .75 oz. Simple Syrup
* 1 oz. Lime Juice
* 2 oz. White Rum
* 3 oz. Sparkling Mineral Water

Gently muddle the spearmint sprig and syrup in a 16 oz mixing glass. Add the lime juice, rum, and mineral water with the spent lime hull for garnishment. Fill with crushed ice and stir until drink is combined and glass is frosty.

The first time I had a mojito it was not particularly sweet. You'll need to adjust the sweetness level to your taste. I'll let you know how mine turns out - perhaps if I think of it I'll get a picture too. Let me know if you give this a try, ok?

Oh, and happy muddling!

LOL's, Graphs and Other Fun

2009-05-05T22:01:00.000-04:00

Here's a little something to help us all get through the week:

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Holy Moses, What A Ride!

2009-04-25T11:16:00.000-04:00

Half a dozen years ago, when I was in my early 40's, I did something out of the ordinary...for me, anyway. I've never had much love for roller-coasters, mainly because they make me want to hurl. Motion sickness just isn't my thing. But for some reason, after I had turned 40 I felt I had to prove something to myself.

I didn't even realize I had this need until after we arrived at Islands of Adventure theme park in Orlando. When you arrive at the park you can see and hear the Hulk Roller-Coaster well before you enter the gate. It has a loud growling/roaring kind of noise that it produces. Right away I was mesmerized by the whole thing but I had no intention of getting on it. When we came into the park we stood and watched it for a while and then got on about our business of having fun for the day.

Eventually my oldest and her dad rode the Hulk. My youngest was, well, too young and I was too chicken. I wasn't afraid of the speed or the height or anything like that. I just don't like to be sick and dizzy (go figure!) because once I get motion-sick the feeling can last the rest of the day. Eventually, though, I found myself standing below the ride watching it go around again and again. That's when I began to feel the need to ride. The need to prove to myself that I could (and should) ride the Hulk. Somehow, I felt that if I left the park that day without conquering the Hulk I would not be able to look myself in the mirror - like I would really be letting myself down. It was like some right of passage that I had to complete.

At some point I left the girls with their dad and wandered back to the Hulk. I bet I stood there for an hour getting my nerve up, convincing myself I could do it without fainting or losing my lunch. After I had psyched myself into going, it took me about half an hour to get through the line to the top. It seemed like forever but then suddenly I came around a corner and there I was - next in line to board. Which I did. The contraption (photo from Mr. Noded, Flickr) closed around me, and then the ride began. For a couple of seconds you move along slowly and then you suddenly accelerate and get shot out like a canon ball, whereupon you immediately get turned upside down and dropped.

I found a good description of the ride on line:

"....riders are shot (they're not kidding!)out within 2 seconds at 40 mph and are sent through a zero-g roll, down a 105-foot drop (zoiks!!)and through a cobra roll. Riders complete a vertical loop, then enter a tunnel full of mist. At this point of the ride, the train's speed has reached approximately 60-67 mph (it was pretty much a blur when I could force my eyes open). The train encircles the gamma tube and is sent into the back area via corkscrew (there was a lot of upside down time). After another vertical loop and two over-banked turns, the coaster is slowed down by a brake run before being sent down another hill to a corkscrew and turn-around. Riders then travel sideways through a camera area (yeah, I looked mortified!)and then to the ride's closing after a helix.

Now, while I had stood below watching the ride for an hour (mentally preparing and all) I hadn't taken into account the fact that I had not yet seen the back half of the ride. Had I noticed the spaghetti-knot portion on the back half I'm not so sure I would have gotten on! I tried to keep my eyes open- it took a concerted effort! I also had to keep telling myself to breath. After the first corkscrew I thought I would lose it but somehow when you are going so fast and flipping around so much - well, maybe it's impossible to throw up when 'up' keeps changing?? Looking back on it now it's a wonder I didn't have a stroke.

When I got off the ride I couldn't believe I hadn't fainted or gotten sick. My legs however felt like jelly and it was quite a knock-kneed walk down. I did get to see a picture of my face from when we traveled through the camera area but I didn't want to spend money on a picture of me looking mortified! I found this video on you-tube that almost does the ride justice. Oh, and if you're wondering - no, I don't think I'll try something like this again!

Really, I guess roller-coasters are just a metaphor for life, aren't they?
Q: What's a metaphor?
A: It's where you keep your sheep....

Help! My Brain Has Been Hijacked!

2009-04-21T22:30:00.000-04:00

Yeah, you heard me right. My brain has been hijacked...by food! I was reading online today about a doctor (Dr. Kessler to be exact) who has been studying what he calls 'conditioned hypereating' - and he equates it to having your brain hijacked by food. Particularly those foods high in fats and sugars. You know, those comfort foods we all seem to have a weakness for. So I'm thinking about this, and prime rib comes to mind. This picture came from a site called dawnsrecipes.com,
but it could easily be, say, a lovely piece of beef from a well known restaurant. So I'm considering the possibility of walking into this particular restaurant and shouting for help. Something like this: "HELP!! My brain has been hijacked!!! I need a prime rib right away or my cerebelum is gonna get it!" Actually, I know what would happen, and I don't think that particular style of white jacket would look good on me. A little too confining if you know what I mean....

Easter Eye-Candy

2009-04-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

I was just hopping about the internet looking for some images to share with you all. Easter eye-candy, so to speak!

The Easter Bunny that comes to my home doesn't take the time to paint eggs like this. We do end up with some drips, however...

I don't know why these bunnies are taking these eggs for a boat ride, but I sure do like they egg-shell boat.

I love these hand painted eggs. This is one of those projects that I say I'd like to do someday. You never know. It could happen!

Easter Cows?! Really??? What have cows got to do with Easter Tide? They are looking rather adorable on this old card though, aren't they?

Pussy-willows, kittens and a chick...now that's more Easter-like than cows! Hey, that's a pretty big egg for such a small chick, and look at the size of the kittens compared to the chick.

Now here's what it's really all about...the Risen Christ.

Happy Easter everyone!

Tuesday Graph Jam

2009-04-07T18:20:00.001-04:00

May I present, for your amusement, a selection of recent graphs:

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href="http://graphjam.com/2009/04/01/song-chart-memes-behind-cones/">
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A few fails, for further frivolity:

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(Epic sunscreen fail!)

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Happy Tuesday, all!!

A Night on the Town...

2009-04-04T22:17:00.000-04:00

My younger daughter and I recently had the pleasure of attending a live comedy show. The show was "Spark of Insanity" and was performed by Jeff Dunham - and his amazing puppets. If you're not familiar with Jeff's work turn on Comedy Central and check him out. Or for a glimpse of his humor hop on over to Youtube and look up Jeff Dunham, Spark of Insanity and watch the version with Peanut in it, and check out Achmed Part 1 as well. Hmmm, come to think of it...watch it all!

If you don't already know it, Jeff is a fabulous ventriloquist who has several 'puppets' (alter egos) who join him on his show. He has been around for quite a few years and has appeared on the Tonight Show as well as others. His material, and sometimes his puppets, change according to where he's playing. I'll go ahead and warn you that some of his content is 'adult' in nature.

The show began with a display of pictures and one-liners on an overhead screen to get us all warmed up. The opening act was a fellow known as "Guitar Guy" who can play the daylights out of a guitar and has a wonderful sense of humor! He takes well known songs and jingles and re-writes them. One of his 'current event' songs was about Octo-mom. He was loads of fun.

Al Jeffzeera TV was in the pre-show warm up. Achmed (the dead terrorist) was trying to do a Bin Laden style broadcast but Bubba, and others, kept cutting in. He wants so much to be feared...but he's not...

This is Bubba J. He doesn't play every venue but he appeared in our area because, well, this is the South. There were a lot of people in the audience who knew his lines by heart and even Jeff had to laugh at their verbal prowess.

This purple guy is Peanut and on the right is Guitar Guy...they were making jokes about Chinese food. I like that there is a big screen so that you can get a good view no matter where you are seated.

Here we have Peanut and Jose Jalepeno (on a steek!). Go look it up on Youtube...Jose's part is short but sweet (on a steek!).

Peanut is the in-your-face obnoxious and goofy type. He's also the type that makes fun of EVERYONE (except him self) and doesn't care if it offends you, at all.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist is a riot! Here he is with Guitar Guy, who made appearances throughout the show. Achmed's phrase of choice is, "Silence! I keel you!!" By the way, it's not pronounced "Ockmed", it's pronounced "A-(sound of clearing throat)-med", which is spelled (according to him) "A-C-phlegm..." You have to see it..go to Youtube. NOW! Or I keel you!!

What can I tell you about Walter? Crabby old fart? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. His catch phrase is,"Shut the hell up!" He likes to complain about his wife and pretty much everything else. From the beginning one-liners to the end of the show we must have laughed for two hours. Then, at the very end, Jeff brought out some t-shirts and shot them, with a hand held cannon, into the audience. He had a large 'cannon' that could shoot to the upper levels and a smaller one for close range. It looked like quite the grown man's toy! Sorry - no canon picture. If you get the chance, I highly recommend you see his live show - it was well worth the ticket price.

March the 25th

2009-03-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Merry....

No one's hangin' stockin's up,
No one's bakin' pie,
No one's lookin' up to see
A new star in the sky.
No one's talkin' brotherhood,
No one's givin' gifts,
And no one loves a Christmas tree
On March the twenty-fifth.

Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

I just love this poem - I hope you all have a delightful March 25th!

Meandering Monday

2009-03-23T21:32:00.000-04:00

Well, well. It was quite a day at work and when I came home all I wanted was dinner and down time. Too bad! Never is life that simple! So, after cooking dinner, doing some errand running and whatnot I finally got some time to sit down and get online.

After meandering about the internet for a while I decided to find something new. I did this by going to a random blog and then clicking on one of the blogs listed in the side bar. I then repeated the random blog selections until I landed somewhere that caught my fancy. Which is where the above picture comes in. What you see up top is a lovely Holiday Cottage in the Scottish Highlands called Papa Stour's Bolt Hole. You can rent it out. I'd like to rent it out. All by myself. For about a week. Yeah - a week by myself....mmmmm, sounds good!

At any rate, since I'm not able to skip off on a holiday, post haste, I'm taking a little mental vacation this evening. I'll just imagine myself there, enjoying the scenery, reading, napping, taking long walks. I'll bet there's tea and scones. At Papa Stour's Bolt Hole. In the Scottish Highlands. No, I don't know what a "Bolt Hole" is - perhaps a place you 'bolt' to when you need a break? Don't make me think hard!

If you want to have a look/get more info:

www.papastour.com/holiday-cottage.php

Just a little something for Wednesday...

2009-03-18T19:32:00.003-04:00

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Congrats to this bill payer! I wish I were good enough at math to pay my bills this way! Love the memo line too....

The Irish In Me . . . .

2009-03-17T07:00:00.000-04:00

There's so much to like about St. Patrick's Day and the Irish in general. Here are some of my favorites.

Waterford crystal: it's just so darn beautiful, no?

Potatoes: fried, baked, mashed, soup, hash browns - you name a way to make it and I'll eat it!

The Limerick: NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN!!

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were all covered with weeds!

Belleek porcelain: another bit of beauty.

Danny Boy: brings a tear to the eye every time...

Shamrocks: they are beautiful plants.

Jokes:

1) Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walks to his friend's bedside and kneels.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty of it and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"

2) A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Green: it's one of my favorite colors!

Corned beef: mmmmm, so delicious...

and:
Yes, it's an acquired taste, I admit, but I sure do enjoy me a guinness now and then. It'll cure what ails you!

Did I miss one of your favorites? Do tell!

Friday LOL Fun

2009-03-13T16:00:00.007-04:00

Lets kick off the weekend with some LOL fun, okay? Okay!

You Want it When?

2009-03-10T12:32:00.005-04:00

I read somewhere that March 2nd - 8th is National Procrastination Week! I was going to tell you sooner but....

Did You Miss Me??

2009-03-06T20:45:00.009-05:00

Well, even if you didn't, I'm back!!! Run and hide or welcome me into your web-world - your choice! The virus bastards may have gotten me down for a bit, but they won't keep me down! In fact, now that I have a new operating system, I'm hoping to see a lot less (if any) virus at all. You see, windows sucks(who knew?) well, probably lots of you)it's like a giant sucking vacuum for virus. Apparently the jerks who create malicious mayhem target windows because something like 97% of computer users rely on it. They put their virus where they can hack the most info and create the most trouble. Which means they target windows. Not that windows really sucks...it's just so very vulnerable due to the sheer number of people targeting it.

I keep up to date on my anti-virus stuff; I run anti-spyware and that sort of thing regularly. And still about once a year I get some major crud that requires major extraction by a local tech shop. I, like most computer users, am resistant to change. But I'm tired of losing files, bookmarks etc each time I get infected. I'm tired of the down time and expense. I'm more and more worried about on-line transactions 'cause the people who hack and create virus and steal our account info are getting better all the time. My tech guy has had a dozen people in lately who clicked on something that looked exactly like a legit microsoft warning, only to get infected and get ripped off. They had to change bank accounts, passwords etc. There have been many more, like me, who didn't lose money but had to come in for help. Some of the pop-ups infect your computer when you click the upper right corner to 'x' out of them. Oh, and there are little animated ads and pop-ups that you don't even have to click on to get infected. These jerks just keep getting slicker and tougher to beat. It's their job to get into your computer and sell your info.

Enter Linux. I've heard about Linux before and had spoken with my tech shop about it the last time this happened. The shop I go to is a small, family owned place. Nothing fancy, just some great, committed folks who are generous with their time, expertise and chocolate. Yeah, you heard me right. Chocolate kisses to be exact. Now, there are a bunch of different versions of Linux and they can all be downloaded free. They work approximately the same as what I had before except - DANG - this system has speed! Some things are set up a little differently but my daughters and I have had no trouble adjusting. There are plenty of tutorials available so I don't expect any problem. You know what I like about this too? My tech guy could have charged me a lot of money to set me back up the way I was before. He could have charged me to do this free download and get me set up with Linux. I called around and was quoted nearly $200 by a well known tech group. My guy charged me $59.00. That was to salvage as much of my old files/info as he could (including bunches of photos) and to give me a disk, new cable and get it all up and running so I could take my tower home, plug it in and go. Oh, and he gave my daughter and I an in shop lesson, and showed me how to do some things myself should the need arise.

I want to get a second computer, and when I do, I will buy it from the tech shop that did this for me. I will refer everyone I know to them.

Well, enough of that. I am sooooo happy to be back up and running. See you all again soon!

Aaaaggghhhhh!!!!

2009-03-02T08:37:00.002-05:00

My computer has been horribly infected with some sort of nastiness. Try as I may (and believe me, I spent a lot of time on this weekend!!) I have not been able to de-bug the mess. So, my computer is going away to someone who takes money to fix these sorts of problems.

Hope to see you all again soon, on the flip side of this disaster.

Oh, and my daughter has a big project due friday....figures!

Evil, evil virus spreaders! I hope there's a special place in hell for the folks who create and spread this stuff...

Big Week at the Snail Household...

2009-02-22T21:12:00.000-05:00

What a week it has been at the Snail household! First of all, my younger daughter had two award ceremonies this past week. The first was Thursday night, when her middle school gave out sports awards for the all of the fall sport athletes. Youngest played soccer this year and even though her team won only one game (a forfeit!), and only scored one goal all season, they had the most spirit of any team there. I'm telling you - they cheered loud and enthusiastically for all the other athletes and still had lots left for each other. She proudly accepted her very first letter,pin, service bar and certificate. They don't actually have Letterman's sweaters/jackets these days - I guess they use hoodies now to display these things. Oh, and there was ice-cream. And cookies. And whipped cream, cherries, jimmies, chocolate sauce, etc....

The second award came Saturday at the library. The local reading council had a county-wide contest for creative writing and she placed second out of all the middle-school entries. Need I tell you how proud she was to know that she (a mere sixth grader) beat out many seventh and eighth graders? She wrote an action adventure story befitting Indiana Jones. Her story is about cats with laser swords that go to a temple (hidden in a couch) to retrieve the "Golden Catnip". This time she got to read her story aloud, meet a local author and along with her certificate she also got $30.00. Yeah. And snacks/drinks after. What could be better? Oh, and she gets to attend a workshop next weekend with the local author to learn more about writing. That's what. Recognition, honor, food, money...living la vida loca!

Now, the other thing that happened at the Snail household involves my older daughter. You see, she now has an OFFICIAL BOYFRIEND!!! Yes - can you feel the excitement? Did you jump up and down and scream!? You can tell it's official because on Facebook she and the boyfriend's status has changed from single to ...not.... So of course all her friends have been texting all day to say that they saw her new status on Facebook. Let the high pitched squealing begin!

I've tried for a while (she's a junior this year) to understand the current state of affairs of teenage dating. It's not called 'going steady' anymore. First, when two young people are interested in each other they 'talk'. 'Talking' starts with your mutual friends asking each of you if you are interested in 'talking'. Then it moves on to actual talking - via phone, Facebook, texting or even (gasp!) in person! Sometimes people who are talking have lunch together, hang out with friends and may even go on a date or two. There seems to be a lot of 'talking' but so far not much 'steady' dating. Until now. So, while she has 'talked' and dated during high school, this is her first actual, official boyfriend.

I got to meet the not-yet-boyfriend Thursday night. He's a nice kid - tall, smart, polite, good looking. Seems he and my eldest wanted to go watch a lacrosse game. As fate would have it, that was also her younger sister's sports award ceremony and she didn't want to miss that. I suggested they meet up after. Then (amazingly) he offered to come to the sports awards . Which he did -without even knowing there would be ice-cream. He came and sat with us and cheered when younger was called up to the podium. Need I tell you he earned some points with all of us by doing that. You see, my younger daughter is a good judge of character. She has a pretty good feel for people. When my older daughter has friends over, the youngest sizes them up pretty quickly. If she doesn't like you, you're probably not going to last. So I jokingly tell my eldest that if a friend can pass the sister test it's all good.

So that's it. Two awards and an 'official boyfriend'. Does it get more exciting than that?

100 Things for Your Bucket List

2009-02-21T13:10:00.001-05:00

You may have seen the movie, "The Bucket List" - a movie about a couple of guys (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) who set out to complete a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. If you haven't I suggest you do because it was funny and good. I assume the movie was the inspiration for the following meme, which has been seen out and about on the internet. Feel free to copy this list, highlight the items you've completed and add/delete comments where appropriate.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (want to)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Bathed in a river (bathed as in bathing suit or bath???)
7. Been to the Taj Mahal (want to)
8. Walked on a glacier in Alaska (definitely want to)
9. Caught and held a snake
10. Spoke in front of a big crowd (it wasn't 1000's...)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Had a whirlwind love affair that broke your heart
13. Found an arrowhead or fossil
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Rescued an animal
16. Ate sweet breads, glands or tripe (in menudo)
17. Seen Mount Rushmore in person (want to)
18. Grown your own vegetables (they started growing...)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (want to)
20. Slept on an overnight train (rode an old steam train in Colorado...)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hiked to base camp on Mt. Everest
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Watched an animal being born
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Learned a foreign language (not too fluently)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (would love to)
29. Seen a total eclipse (partial eclipse)
30. Stayed up for more than 24 hours (not if I can help it)
31. Trained a dog to do cool tricks
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (want to)
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (um...how far back are we talking?)
35. Seen an Amish community (want to)
36. Can drive a stick shift car
37. Won over $1000 in a raffle or lottery (want to so I can do some of these other things!)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (want to)
39. Gone rock climbing (and repelled over the cliff)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (Saw a reproduction...)
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt (want to)
43. Been serenaded
44. Visited Africa (want to)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Broke a bone (only a toe bone, but I think that counts)
47. Started your own business (very small and short lived)
48. Quit a job because you were totally unhappy
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person (want to)
50. Been to the Eiffel Tower (want to)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain passionately
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in movie
55. Been in a movie (I suppose home movies don't count...)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (want to)
57. Joined a prayer group
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia (want to)
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Sold Camp Fire Girl Candy)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Received flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (not likely, but I did want to hang-glide when I was younger)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (pretty sure this would make me sick...)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square (driven through...)
74. Toured the Everglades (driven around south Florida but not actually toured)
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London (want to)
77. Broken something extremely expensive (I hope not ever!)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person(and camped under the stars there)
80. Published a book (want to...better get busy though, eh?)
81. Visited the Vatican (want to)
82. Got a tattoo
83. Been to a coffee shop in Amsterdam (want to)
84. Seen the aurora borealis in person (we could sometimes see the northern lights in Colorado when I was a kid- or did I imagine this?)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (catching a fish counts, but I didn't gut it)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Toured the UN
95. Hiked to Machu Picchu (want to)
96. Swam in the Indian Ocean
97. Conversed with someone when neither of you spoke each others language
98. Dirty danced
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Acted in a play

I don't know about you, but it looks like I've got a lot to do! I may have to live a really long time...

Kitty Fix

2009-02-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

It had to happen sooner or later, although I was hoping to avoid it completely. Alas, my little cat, Rafik, went into heat a couple weeks back and what an experience that was! You haven't lived until you've experienced a cat in heat. I had hoped to avoid this by having her fixed before she reached this point of maturity, as I had our first cat. Looks like I waited just a bit too long this time. Should have stuck with January like I originally intended.

Now Rafik is normally quite an affectionate kitty, but she was tarting herself out like nobody's business! She was rolling around on the floor in a come-hither fashion, making 'sexy-cat' sounds for our older cat(also female) and for us. She purred and meowed and carried on, crying pathetically at night. I actually felt somewhat sorry for her as she seemed confused by her own behavior. She just knew that she really needed something from someone around here and she couldn't figure out what 'it' was or understand why we were all avoiding her. It was pathetic, really! Thankfully the weather was quite cold at the time so she wasn't able to spend time out on the balcony. I don't even want to think about how much worse this would have been if male cats had started prowling around. She was quite good with her seductive maneuvering and I'm sure no male cat could have refused her charms!

As soon as I realized what her crying in the night and super-friendly behavior were all about (it may have taken ten minutes), I called the vet and made an appointment to have her girly parts removed. They quoted me an exorbitant price, told me her current condition could last up to 3 weeks, and then set an appointment for a couple of weeks out. I knew I couldn't stand her randy behavior that long so I called around and discovered Animal Aid, a local shelter that will provide the procedure for a lot less money and, equally important, could take her in a couple of days.

We got up on the appointed morning and she went happily into the carrier, apparently not remembering any previous trip in it. Once we got in the car and started driving she was less happy, and when we arrived at the vet she became most anxious, due to several dogs in the waiting room. Poor baby. When I went to pick her up later that day she looked like hell! Still drugged and horrified (her - not me), we made our way home where she crept out of the crate and under the bed. It took some time and coaxing to get her to come out, but eventually she did.

By the next day you would never have guessed anything bad had occurred. She was jumping up on the furniture and wandering around seemingly pain free. Even better, she hasn't chewed or bothered with her stitched area at all. Wouldn't it be nice to bounce back like that after surgery? She will go back next week for stitch removal and in the mean time she is back to her affectionate (but not randy)self!

Cherubs!

2009-02-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

I really couldn't let the week pass without one final post about valentines, and nothing says Valentines Day like cherubs! Although, I'm not really sure just why naked, winged babies constitute the epitome of love. Hmmmm. Ok, having wings would be cool. Babies can be really cute and loveable. Going naked...well, that could be a good thing or a bad thing! But put it all togther and this is what you get:

Ok, so they aren't all naked...these little sweeties have on robes....and check out the musical ability!

Butterfly wings - now that's stylish!

And why settle for one cupid when you can have four to multiply the love?

Hey Valentine! Be Mine!

2009-02-13T07:00:00.002-05:00

Today children all across the country will take valentines to school for their classmates. Many will include candy - especially the quintessential conversation hearts. No matter how valentines change over the years those pastel conversation hearts have remained a popular treat. Below you'll find some sweet treats for you, my readers:

Sweet Sentiments

2009-02-10T20:11:00.000-05:00

I just love an old fashioned Valentine, don't you? The artwork, the sentiment, the beautiful lettering. Flowers and birds got a lot of use in these tried but true designs.

What's sweeter than a pair of doves, dropping their love notes into a heart shaped mailbox?

What about a flower be-decked car to take your loved one for a ride?

"Peony symbol of Happiness Sublime, Wilt thou be my Valentine?

Behold, the Courtly Troubadour

2009-02-08T13:28:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is coming up so I thought I'd kick off the week by paying tribute to the Troubadour, for what's Valentine's Day without a love song?

If you're like me, you probably think of a troubadour as some love-struck, renaissance warbler. There's actually a bit more to it than that, as I've discovered and will now share with you. Troubadours actually had 'rules' that governed their writings and there were many genres of songs/poems that they wrote. For example there was the:

Alba: the song of a lover as dawn approaches, often with a watchman warning of the approach of a lady's jealous husband

Canso: a love song, usually consisting of five or six stanzas with an envoi - a short stanza expressing the poet's hope that the poem may bring them some benefit (the beloved's favors, increased patronage, and so on)

Comiat: a song renouncing a lover

Enuig: a poem expressing indignation or feelings of insult

Maldit: a song complaining about a lady's behavior and character

Pastorela: the tale of the love request of a knight to a shepherdess

Salut d'amor: a love letter addressed to another, not always one's lover

Serena: the song of a lover waiting impatiently for the evening (to consummate his love)

Torneyamen: a poetical debate between three or more persons, often with a judge (like a tournament)

The song/poem could be written with religious significance, or as a political attack. The maldit and the comiat were often connected as a maldit-comiat and they could be used to attack and renounce a figure other than a lady or a lover.

Troubadours often performed at court where songs could be used not only as entertainment but also as propaganda, praising a patron, mocking enemies, encouraging wars, teaching ethics and etiquette, and maintaining religious unity.

Of course the more romantic image of a troubadour is of a young man, such as the one above, singing below the balcony of his beloved. Now here's a fellow befitting a valentine!

Hey! I'm Stylish!

2009-02-05T21:35:00.012-05:00

I was cruising along the internet (that font of all knowledge worth knowing) when I made a discovery: I'm fashionable! That's right, I'm where it's at, hip, trendy, with it. That's me. I'm no Fashionista - I'm a Recessionista! The day of the bargain hunter is here, ladies and gentlemen.

I've always loved a bargain but now getting a deal is considered chic. In fact, 'recessionista', along with 'chiconomics', ranks right up there as a new buzzword for 2009. The art of living well and looking good on the cheap is in vogue and I couldn't be happier. It's not that I don't like nice things and fashionable clothes - indeed I do. But there's something wonderful about getting what you want at a great price. If I won the lottery for example, I would still revel in getting a deal. Not that I wouldn't make some over the top purchases, but I could never give up on finding the best price.

Now, my 16 year old would never in a million years say that I'm stylish. Admittedly I could use some updating from time to time. I do try to stay 'with it' without looking like a 48 year old pretending she's 16, cause that's just plain scary. So it sure was nice to be able to inform her that her mother is trendy. Actually, I see a lot of styles today that are quite like the things I wore at her age...too bad I didn't save it all - she'd have vintage chic clothes.

Woo-hoo! Go me!! For once I'm stylish, and as my younger daughter pointed out, "There's a first time for everything!"

My Art Gallery

2009-02-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

My girls are creative in many ways. They write fabulous stories, make up songs and create some pretty imaginative works of art. Today I'm going to share with you some of their creations. Let's start with The Crab. My youngest made this when she was in 2nd grade, using styro-foam and toothpicks. She did this while patiently waiting for our food to arrive at a restaurant.

This next piece was made by my youngest about 2 years ago with found items from the junk drawer. He is a robot, and was made to assist Gerbil Thingy - her favorite beanie baby/superhero/plaything. Robot has a head/snout made from a binder clip, one foot is a key and the other is the metal spring from a clothespin. The racket-like object is one of those Easter-egg dippers that finally found a use. Put a pipe cleaner and a bit of junk in a child's hands and this is what you get.

Before you is Fred da Cactus, the newest creation of my youngest. Fred was designed to enhance her notebook, which has a clear pocket on the front where Fred resides, much to the amusement of her middle-school friends. I suspect he came to exist during a period of boredom in class. That's how it is in middle-school.

I present to you, Beavis Maximus. My eldest created this regal sculpture in honor of beloved Beavis during her first year in high school. No, I don't know why. He wasn't an assignment, just something she came up with while hanging out with a friend in the art room after hours. Love his laurel wreath...he even has tiny, little nipples... oh my! She and her friend had many a laugh over this fellow. This photo doesn't really do him justice.

This artwork I shall simply title, Flowers. Eldest created this to hang on her bedroom wall. The colors match her bedding and it's a combination of paint, glued on construction paper, markers and ink. The reverse side is a painting she made that she didn't like. Nothing like a bit of recycling, eh? Again, my photo does not really do it justice.

Last, but not least, is my eldest daughter's 3D Art. Ok, that's not really it's name so much as it's description. This piece was an actual assignment. I like the fact that I can turn this sculpture in any direction and it works! I also like the vibrant colors - most of her work is done in vivid colors.

My collection of the girl's artwork dates back to their earliest creations. I'm sure the collection will continue for as many years as I am around to display/collect/store it! I hope you have enjoyed it too.

Happy Monday

2009-02-02T07:00:00.002-05:00

Oh how I just LOVE this song, and the video makes it even better!

It's tough to be a serious hippo...

Have a good week!

My Chef, Flipper

2009-01-30T18:57:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a chef! Yeah, that's right, my own chef. Take a look:

In case you didn't know it, dolphins are talented chefs. According to researchers in Australia, dolphins are quite clever and precise when it comes to preparing calamari. They have tried and true prep methods for killing, de-inking and de-boning cuttlefish (squid), leaving tasty, tender calamari as the finished product. Furthermore, they've been observed using sponges as tools to cover their noses while they forage along the ocean floor. Do you know what this means? My dolphin will be fixing my dinner and cleaning up afterward! How awesome is that?

Living quarters might be an issue....

Speaking of Cows and Religion . . .

2009-01-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

I don't recall where or how I first heard about this particular little gem but I was reminded of it recently and am compelled by something greater than myself to share it with you. This tune hails from Canada - from some folks who call themselves Arrogant Worm. The organ music and choral harmony in the latter part of the song make listening to this masterpiece a quasi-religious experience.

Isn't it great?! Humor me please and say, "Yes, you're right! This is the stuff of which greatness is made!!"

I want to sing this song in a choir. You know, after a couple of 'normal' songs. Just a little surprise for the audience. Go ahead and play it a couple times and feel free to sing along - I do.

I am cow, hear me moo, I weigh twice as much as you
and I look good on the barbecue
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butter's made from liquid from my udders.
I am cow, I am cow - hear me moo!

I am cow eating grass, methane gas comes out my ass
and out my muzzle when I belch.
Oh the ozone's getting thinner from the outcome of my dinner.
I am cow, I am cow - I've got gas!

I am cow, here I stand, far and wide upon this land
and I am living everywhere!
From B.C. to Newfoundland you can squeeze my teats by hand
I am cow, I am cow - I am cow! I am cow, I am cow - I am cow!

Your Welcome!

Amphibians, Children and Love

2009-01-26T07:00:00.005-05:00

How adorable is this tiny frog?! I love it! I may have mentioned in a previous post (or not) that my siblings and I once lost a baby frog in my parents car. We had been out to visit the grandparent's farm and per the usual had found some frogs to ~~have races~~ play with. At the end of the day we decided to take one of the wee babies home. Only it got loose in the car. My mom was concerned it would turn up at an inopportune moment and startle my dad, thus causing a crash. Sounds like the stuff I tell my kids when they misbehave while I'm driving. Only with the girls it's not frogs, it's various objects being tossed/wrestled with between the front and back seat.

I left the girls alone in the car one time while I ran inside. I mistakenly thought they were old enough (10 and 14) to be trusted for 30 seconds. When I came out I found them having soft-drink spit wars with their straws. There was soda splattered all over the place. This sort of behavior is one of the reason's parents are programmed to love their offspring. Survival of the species depends on it. Sure they're all cute and stuff when they're tiny, like this frog baby. We get sucked in and attached. Then come the trials and tribulations. And the law says we can't kill them when they splatter coke and sprite all over creation. Or when they turn frogs loose in our cars.

Wee baby frogs grow in to big frogs quickly and go on about their frog business. Kids grow up fast too. Sometimes that seems good, sometimes not so much. One thing is sure: if my children have children they will be complaining to me one day about what their daughter/son did in the car. I will just laugh and remind them of the soda war of 2006.

Armida and Rinaldo

2009-01-23T20:30:00.000-05:00

I bought this painting, The Death of Armida, several years ago. I first saw this painting on display in a bakery that featured a different local artist each month. It was done by Melinda Copper. She and her husband are extraordinary artists, who are adept at a variety of arts including sculpture and painting. One of her dog portraits was so precise it could have passed for a photo.

Melinda had a selection of her animal paintings on display that month, which consisted of beautifully rendered reproductions of famous works of art. For example there was a lovely copy of the Mona Lisa featuring a cat. I knew I had to have one of her pieces(I just had to!!) and it took me a few days to make up my mind. I finally chose this painting because (in no particular order)

a) I used to have pet rabbits;
b) The colors are so beautiful; and
c) The subject matter was intriguing.

I didn't really know anything about the story of Armida and Rinaldo, so I dreamed one up of my own. Obviously (obvious to me, anyway) the soldier in red has come to tell Armida that her love-bunny has died in battle (proof being the armor dropped on the ground). Overcome with grief,she wants to die too, as evidenced by the arrow she holds to her chest. As she is about to plunge the arrow into her heart the soldier bunny stays her paw. I suspect he has motives of his own and is hoping to become her new love-bunny. That's my version, anyway.

Wanting to know the real story about Armida, I took it upon myself to do some research. On the internet of course, because that's where you can find anything, right? Maybe even the truth. Hah! Following is a brief description of some of what I have gathered:

Armida is a beautiful enchantress in "Jerusalem Delivered" (one of those epic poems from the 1500's about the crusades). She intends to kill Rinaldo (a great crusader) but falls in love with him and bewitches him instead. When her spell is broken by his buddies (they bring him a mirror of diamonds, wherein he sees the truth), he either

a) goes back to crusading,leaving her heartbroken and suicidal; or
b) overpowers her with his love and persuades her to become a Christian.

There are other variations from opera and depending on who is interpreting. Whatever the story and it's outcome, this painting is enthralling and I adore it!

If you are interested in seeing more of Melinda's outstanding artwork take a look here: www.melindacopper.net. Enjoy!

What's Cookin?

2009-01-20T22:35:00.000-05:00

This weekend I thought I'd do some baking. My youngest has shown an increasing interest in cooking and baking so I suggested we make cinnamon rolls. She promptly replied that she would like to make donuts. My taste buds were set on cinnamon rolls but donuts are good too. I was feeling accommodating so I started looking up recipes for donuts. She wanted to make krispy kreme style donuts - which means yeast dough with lots of rising time. When I explained how long that would take she quickly agreed that cake donuts would be just fine. Now the thing is, I rarely deep fat fry anything. We're talking once a year, twice max. Since I so rarely fry anything I don't have any kind of deep fat fryer. I've thought about getting one - just for this sort of occasion, but I don't want to encourage myself to fry that much food. So, we pulled out a large, deep pan and melted about 2 inches of shortening in it. We mixed our dough, cut our donuts and began cooking them.
This is where a deep fat fryer would be handy. See, you need a good hot temperature - my recipe called for 375. If your fat isn't hot enough your donuts will absorb more of it. I have a candy thermometer but it didn't fit onto my pan quite right so I just held it in there now and then.

We dropped in our donuts, three at a time (didn't want the fat temp to drop too much) and watched them puff up and turn to gold. Which they did rather nicely, as you can see. In a couple minutes they were ready to come out. After they drained on paper towels we dipped them in plain glaze, chocolate glaze, cinnamon-sugar and plain sugar. Hmmm, we didn't do any powdered sugar...
And here's our finished product: a nice variety of fresh, tasty home-made donuts! It occurred to me afterward that we could have bought canned biscuit dough and made donuts from that. Now that would have been even quicker and simpler. Ah, what the heck - part of this whole process was a cooking lesson for my daughter. She can learn the short cuts later...

My Graph

2009-01-20T07:00:00.002-05:00

Well I finally did it. Having been inspired by my oldest child, I made my very own creation on Graph Jam the other day.

moar funny pictures

You see, she just had to pick the day when our place was at the peak of messiness to have some friends over after school. I know it's just random chance that dictates what house they wander to each day, but couldn't fate have picked a neater day? Oh well, I doubt they care as much as I do.

Hey Diddle, Diddle, There's Methane on Mars!

2009-01-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've read in the news recently of confirmation that there is methane on Mars. Methane is an important indicator of the potential for life on a planet. There are some theories as to how that methane is being produced, which is important because the cause of production could indicate Martian life forms of some sort.

Well, I have my own theory about Mars and it's methane. Cows. That's right, subterranean cows. I'm not talking about your average, run of the mill cows. I'm talking about the super intelligent bovine beings alluded to by Mother Goose. What, you didn't know that the Mother Goose nursery rhymes were actually based on the realities of life? Just as "Ring Around the Rosy" is about Bubonic plague, "Hey Diddle, Diddle" depicts the eyewitness account of cows leaving Earth to inhabit Mars.

You see, the Earth once had a race of super-intelligent cows. These 'smart-cows', if you will, realized that they could not live in peace here due to the beef eating nature of people and animal predators. Sure, they were safe enough in India, where they were revered for their brains and Godliness. But in much of the rest of the world they were not so lucky. So they did their homework and using advanced technology beyond our current understanding, they 'jumped over the moon' as the people in the 1600's described it, and established subterranean colonies on Mars.

Why subterranean? Well, they couldn't very well live on the cold, desolate surface! Using more of that yet to be understood technology, they set up shop underground (like the book/movie City of Ember) and out of sight of our prying eyes. Now, however, our own technology has advanced to a point where we have discovered their methane. It's only a matter of time before we send up some space ranchers to extract the Martian beef and import it back to Earth.

Hey diddle, diddle the villagers were distracted
The cat and the fiddle this was the distraction
The cow jumped over the moon the cows made their escape, thanks to distraction
The little dog laughed at the distracted villagers
To see such sport foolish villagers and space bound cows
And the dish ran away lots of gossip afterword
With the spoon. by the 'silver' tongued witness who wrote this rhyme

I rest my case.

The Impossible Dream

2009-01-17T13:26:00.001-05:00

I received an email today with a powerpoint slide-show in it. "The Impossible Dream" was playing in the background. I haven't heard this song in a long time and it brought me back to my high school days when we sang this in choir. We sang a lot of popular tunes, and some not so popular. I mostly enjoyed performing them all, but there are some - like "The Impossible Dream" - that were especially good. The version on the slide show was instrumental but I had another version stuck in my head, so I went over to Imeem and listened to about 10 different versions and this is what I came back with. I guess it's overkill to put more than one - but what the heck! The first is the one that was stuck in my head, the second is longer but wonderful as well, and the third is a choral version (a tip of the hat to my choir days).

The Impossible Dream - Man Of La Mancha

Longer:

The Impossible Dream (From-Man of La Mancha) - Steve Amerson

Choral: I didn't realize until I posted this that this one plays only a portion of the song! Rats! If you want to hear the full version just hop on over to Imeem. In fact, you can create an account (free and easy) and listen to all sorts of stuff...No, I'm not getting paid to promote them, I just find it a useful site.

The Impossible Dream - Ray Conniff and The Singers

"The Impossible Dream"

from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972)
music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Go out now and reach for your star!

Tuesday Graph Jam

2009-01-13T19:55:00.000-05:00

When I think back on all the charts and graphs from my school years I shudder a bit. They weren't anywhere near as fun as the charts on Graph Jam. Back then if someone had told me I would one day enjoy looking at graphs and charts I would have given them a blank stare. Now the blank stare is what I'm trying to get rid of by looking at Graph Jam! So here's a sampling of some recent entries made by people like you and me. People who have generously spent their valuable time creating graphs and charts for our enjoyment!

From time to time one of my daughters will exclaim, "Hey! That's a Guitar Hero song!" They seem so surprised that these songs existed before the game....

more music charts

This is a recurring theme at home. "I need help..." is usually preceded by, "Don't get mad, but...."

more music charts

You know this one is true. Cruel and true...

more music charts

One of these days I'm going to create a graph/chart myself. If you get one done before me be sure to send it my way!

How to Resuscitate a Lizard

2009-01-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

Several years ago (well, actually it was about 20 years ago...ahem!) I was working in an office cubicle in California. I used to post all kinds of things on my padded walls for the amusement of myself and my fellow workers. Today, as I was going through a box of ~~junk~~ important documents, I came across the image you see to the right. I believe my dad got this most helpful sign from a pool supply company in Phoenix and then I got a copy of it from him. I colored it in (never too old for coloring, I always say) and immediately posted it where everyone passing my cubie could see it. This became one of my more popular 'posts'. The print is tiny so I've reproduced these very important steps for you below - in case you ever have a drowning lizard emergency.

1. Scoop lizard from pool.

2. Shake out lizard.

3. Massage lizard's torso, applying on and off pressure, directly behind frontal legs.

4. Apply mouth to mouth resuscitation to lizard's mouth, breathing slowly and forcefully.

If you're squeamish about human to lizard mouth-breathing you could blow up a balloon, put it over the lizard's mouth and release the balloon air into the lizard. Just a thought. You know, in case lizard's carry salmonella . . . .

My Debut

2009-01-08T07:00:00.008-05:00

Forty-eight years ago, at 1:30 in the afternoon, I made my debut. At five and a half pounds, my arrival shouldn't have been a big deal, but even my mother paced the floor. Sorry mom! My mother had a few babies before me and her labors were fairly short so everyone expected I would come right along. Not saying I was stubborn - I just wasn't quite ready. I've been known to put off a thing or two until I'm darned good and ready. It was Sunday and my dad and grandparents had a tough time deciding whether to go to church or wait. I guess they made it to church and back with plenty of time to spare.

Significant Snail is 100 Posts Old!

2009-01-03T00:20:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my first post of 2009, which also happens to be my 100th post! I know many bloggers do something special to commemorate their 100th post. For example, I thought about writing a special poem:

Today is my 100th post
and for you, dear reader,
I want to raise a special toast
and....and......

Ok, that's just undeserved punishment for all of us, isn't it? I suppose I could dress it up with colorful language and gratuitous sex and it would read much better, but I'm just not feeling all poetical.

Then I thought about a giveaway. More specifically, wouldn't it be awesome to give $100 each to the first 100 people who leave comments? Yes, it would be awesome, but quite expensive as well, so that one's out of the question. Not to mention I've never had 100 comments. That could change if I gave away money!

Instead of poetry and money, I'm keeping with time honored tradition and (since this is a long weekend and I have plenty of time) I'm going to post a list of 100 ~~pieces of useless information~~ bits of trivia about myself.

Before you ~~dip out on me without reading the list~~ read the list, let me just take a moment to thank you for coming by to read my posts. Do come again!

1. I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers.
2. The first time I cried at a movie I was in the 4th grade. Yes, I got teased.
3. I recently cried when I saw the movie Marley and Me. No one teased me this time.
4. I have lived in five different states.
5. I collect frogs. Not live ones, although that's an interesting thought...
6. I spent the Saturday after Christmas watching a billion part series about World War II. It ran from late morning to 11ish at night. Does this make me a geek?
7. I'll take a good cup of coffee over a glass of champagne any day.
8. I've had a variety of pets, but currently own two cats.
9. I once had two fire-bellied newts. They were adorable.
10. I tried smoking as a teen but I was clumsy and broke the cigarette in half trying to tap the ashes off. I didn't want to use my money that way anyhow.
11. I like snow.
12. I like to sew.
13. I can knit a little and crochet not at all.
14. I love to bake and enjoying cooking in general.
15. I'm a middle child.
16. I like my steak medium rare.
17. I'm a word person - I enjoy word puzzles and reading.
18. Conversely, I am not much of a math person.
19. But speaking of math, I did do better at geometry than algebra...
20. I like sushi, escargot and caviar.
21. Don't ask me to eat liver. Ok, I might if I really had to. But only if.
22. I'm pretty good with directions/maps. That time in Albuquerque doesn't count.
23. I tend to procrastinate.
24. I can be organized. Depending on how you define organized. Let's just say I know where things are.
25. I like rocks. A lot. I sometimes wish I'd majored in geology.
26. I've been to 32 of the states in the U.S.
27. I would eventually like to see every state in the U.S., especially Alaska (cruise) and Hawaii.
28. I prefer coke to pepsi.
29. Years ago I repelled off of a 100 foot cliff. Yes, I swore the first time...
30. Spiders creep me out. And cockroaches are disgusting too.
31. I learned to ice skate in college.
32. I think Kristi Yamaguchi is one of the most amazing skaters ever. I wish I could skate like her!
33. I've never been in a fist fight, but I've thought about it a time or two.
34. Only my ears are pierced and I intend to keep it that way.
35. I don't have any tattoos and doubt I ever will. But hey, if I make it to 90, who knows?
36. I had a French pen pal in high school. He sent me an edelweiss (his mother was a florist).
37. McDonald's makes the best fast food fries.
38. I'll turn 48 this month..soon....
39. Once upon a time I collected Swamp Thing comic books.
40. I don't have a Facebook account, but my mom does.
41. When I was a teenager I had a dress with roses all over it. I wore rose oil every time I wore that dress 'cause I thought it was cool to smell like a rose and look like one too.
42. I believe you can be too rich and too thin.
43. I hate when a good movie has a sequel and you have to wait 2 or 3 years to see it. What if you die before then?? You'll never know what happened next!!!
44. I wish I were a couple inches taller.
45. I have been to Mexico, Canada and the Bahamas.
46. There is not any place in the world I would not wish to see. But there are some places I would be afraid to visit.
47. I just don't get NASCAR. Or boxing.
48. I prefer feather pillows.
49. My bra size is - HAH! I wouldn't actually tell you that!
50. One of my favorite childhood stories was about a dog who belonged to himself.
51. I love avocados.
52. Artichokes are delicious too.
53. My watch battery died a year and a half ago. I just look at my cell phone or computer to tell time. Or the clock in my car.
54. Frank Lloyd Wright was an awesome designer.
55. Robert Frost was an awesome poet. Emily Dickinson too. Among others ...
56. Love pecans.
57. I once broke my toe smacking into a toilet...I was running...the rug slipped...
58. Once I was walking backward and turned around and walked into a pole.
59. I rode a bike into the back of a car because I was looking behind me.
60. I was run over by a bike in college. There was a perfect tire mark across my ass.
61. Numbers 57 through 59 occurred before college. Thankfully.
62. I'm not much of a bowler, or golfer for that matter.
63. I have worn glasses or contact lenses since 3rd grade.
64. I've never broken any major bones. Only toes a couple times.
65. I've driven 13 hours straight a couple times. I don't recommend it.
66. Red is one of my favorite colors to decorate with. As an accent color.
67. I have a beautiful painting of two rabbits. I'll post it someday.
68. I can't paint or draw well but I wish I could.
69. I've gotten a couple of ribbons over the years for photos I've taken.
70. I wrote a lot of poetry in jr. high and high school.
71. I have a hard time writing 'serious' poetry. Humor is more my type.
72. This past year I had to break down and buy reading glasses.
73. I collect old recipe booklets put out by various companies. The oldest one predates gas and electric stoves.
74. I love to go barefoot.
75. A good pedicure is a lovely thing.
76. I saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Only play I've seen on Broadway.
77. I cried when I saw Phantom of the Opera. It was wonderful.
78. Once I got a tiny metal crochet hook stuck in my finger. Probably one reason I don't crochet.
79. I have two daughters. They both play soccer.
80. My kindergarten crush was named John.
81. In grade school I knew a boy named Daniel Boone. I had a huge crush on him.
82. I've had at least 2 other boyfriends whose names began with J.
83. My ex-husband's name starts with a J.
84. My ex and I get along pretty well.
85. His girlfriend is Filipino and she and I also get along quite well.
86. Mosquitoes are horrific insects. They should all go away.
87. When I was a teen I imagined myself being a rich old spinster with nieces that I would take on trips to Europe.
88. Actually, that's still not such a bad idea....I still have to achieve the rich and old part. Spinster went out the window some time ago.
89. I wouldn't want to leave my nephews out, so I'll take them too.
90. I think a good sense of humor is one of the most valuable assets a person can have.
91. One time I had to perform the Heimlich on my dog. Thankfully it worked. My girls were watching.
92. I wish I were a stronger swimmer.
93. I got my first grey hair at 30.
94. I've only ever gotten one ticket. For speeding. I was headed to the airport.
95. I don't like prop planes.
96. I love to rummage through antique stores.
97. My first car was a used Gremlin. The main seal blew. Not an experience I would recommend.
98. When I was a kid I made a house out of toothpicks so the ants could get out of the rain. The ants didn't appreciate my work.
99. I also tried to fix an injured worm with a bandaid. Not successful.
100. Gravy. MMMMmmmmmm.....

That's all your gonna get. Which is probably way more than enough. Next time I hit some milestone I'll find a shorter way to mark the event!

Thanks for stopping by!

Realistic Resolutions We Might Actually Be Able to Keep

2008-12-31T13:02:00.000-05:00

Once again we find ourselves on the cusp of a new year, making the annual list of resolutions that are designed to improve our lives in the coming year. You and I both know how tough this can be, so I've compiled a list to help you out. This list is based on actual scientific internet research of the top resolutions made by people just like you and me. You heard me right: Scientific Internet Research. It doesn't get more real (or important) than that! Listed below, in bold lettering, are some popular resolutions - each followed by a more realistic version. If you want to make your own list just remember to think outside the box. Behold, my

List of Realistic Resolutions We Might Actually Be Able to Keep.

Enjoy Life More: you can start by not making lists of resolutions. If you feel you must, then just make one.

Find My Soul Mate: okay, well, first I have to find my soul....it was around here somewhere...Ok, so realistically - start a blog! I'll let you know how that one works out...

Lose Weight: this can be achieved in numerous ways. Like buying lighter shoes or removing some of the contents of your wallet, pocket or purse. If it makes it easier for you just send all of your change to me....

Get In Shape: hey, who says you have to specify a shape? Any shape will do.

Stop Swearing: just swear more creatively! Think Yosemite Sam (sassafrassa, ricka-racka....)Holy Moley, you didn't expect me to just quit straight up, did you?

Take a Trip: work is a fascinating destination, in fact, you can practice your creative swearing there!

Get Organized: even something simple like making your bed more often. Not saying how often, just more often! Or buy a filing cabinet - as long as no one opens it, they'll think you're organized!

Do Something I've Never Done Before: like keep a resolution? Nah...too hard.

Drink Less Alcohol: is this one of those quality versus quantity issues? I think I could give up the cheap stuff for something better. That's do-able.

Attend a Live Sporting Event: yes, traffic counts.

Stick to a Budget: write it out and then use velcro or super-glue. Where you stick it is your business.

Help Others: I think this list counts - I am helping you, right? Again, think outside the box - sometimes leaving people alone is helping...

Stop smoking: just go ahead and spontaneously combust! Let me know how that works for you.

P.S. Have a Happy New Year and a safe and fun celebration!

Post Christmas Wrap-Up

2008-12-29T20:38:00.005-05:00

Proof that Santa exists:

1. Only crumbs remain on the plate that held cookies.

2. Milk - GONE!!!

Need I say more? I think not!

Alright then, time to get started on those New Year's Resolutions. If I think of any I'll let you know....

They're Just So Darned Adorable!

2008-12-29T17:40:00.006-05:00

more animals

Seriously, can you imagine the havoc?

Yonder Breaks a New and Glorious Morn

2008-12-24T17:05:00.017-05:00

There are so many Christmas songs, both religious and secular, and for the past few weeks I've heard nearly all of them. I'm not complaining - I love almost all of them. However, if I had to choose a favorite Christmas song this one would win hands down. I've heard many people sing this but not many can really pull it off. I loved Michael Crawford in Phantom of the Opera (I cried) and when I heard his version of "Oh Holy Night" I wanted to include it here for you tonight. Maybe you can make it through without a tear...I can't! Merry Christmas to all.

Luminaria

2008-12-21T20:27:00.011-05:00

I told you recently about tumbleweed Christmas trees. Another tradition in the Southwest is luminaria. The idea behind luminaria is that the lights will guide the spirit of the Christ child to your home. Luminaria are made from paper bags with sand in the bottom to hold them down. They are lit from within by a candle held in place by the sand. On Christmas Eve the luminaria are arranged in rows, lining the driveway and walkways around your home. Over the years they have become more elaborate, with cut out designs, and you can even buy electric ones.

In the picture above the homeowners lined the walkway, the front wall and the flat roof-line of the home. (In the Southwest it's not uncommon to see the roof-line lit up on adobe buildings). Weather permitting, you can create this type of display anywhere in the country, though I wouldn't recommend most roof tops. Of course you need to place the candles carefully in the center of the bag of sand and keep an eye on them so they don't cause a fire. Inexpensive glass votive holders are a good way to reduce the risk of fire. Note that the top of the bag is rolled down a time or two to create a sturdy opening.

Should you find yourself in Phoenix, Albuquerque, San Antonio or another Southwest location on Christmas eve, be sure to include an evening tour of their local gardens, parks and historic areas to take in this beautiful tradition.

Caroling, Caroling Through the Town. . .

2008-12-18T21:04:00.007-05:00

Caroling, caroling, now we go Christmas bells are ringing
Caroling, caroling through the snow
Christmas bells are ringing

Joyous voices, sweet and clear
Sing the sad of heart to cheer
Ding dong, ding dong
Christmas bells are ringing

It just wouldn't be Christmas without music would it? I bought a set of these carolers several years ago as a gift but I had such a hard time parting with them that I went back and got a set for myself. The caroling dog really makes the set, don't you agree?

I think it would be great fun to dress in period costumes and go caroling. The cold weather makes it even better because you're encouraged to sing loud to stay warm! That and the after party... There was a group of friends that I went caroling with at Christmas before moving to Florida. We went around to the nursing homes and shut-ins and sang. Then we all descended on the home of another friend for food, drink and a great party.

One of the nice things about caroling is that everyone can join in and have fun. You don't have to be an awesome singer to get together and sing Christmas songs - in fact, nobody expects perfection, just loud,joyful fun.

Listening to Christmas music makes me want to join a choir. When I was in school I sang in a couple of different choirs. I really enjoyed practicing together with the other members to produce each concert. It's been quite a few years since then and I'm sure I'm rather rusty, although I suppose with practice I could do it again. When my girls are grown and I have fewer demands on my time I think I'll give it another go!