November Blog - O-Scope

With the arrival of November comes thoughts of Thanksgiving. As we begin to plan our Thanksgiving feast we consider which of our friends and family we will share dinner with and what foods (traditional or not) we will have on the table. When Thanksgiving Day arrives we will join together at the table and consider that for which we are thankful. Our family and friends, our pets and our health, our wide screen tv's and the long weekend off from work and school. Yet there is more, isn't there? Why yes...each of us according to our astral sign has something extra to be thankful for - something we probably won't share out loud. The stars have whispered your secrets to me and I will now divulge them because that's what I do. When the stars talk I listen...and then I share the gossip information!

No need to fret if Thanksgiving isn't a holiday for you. Anyone, anywhere can join in the spirit of thankfulness - heck, have a feast while you're at it too!


Aries The Ram: From time to time you get an itch. In your ear. Or some water. In your ear. That's why Q-Tips are your secret indulgence. Who cares if they're not supposed to be poking around in there? Not you! You're just a rebel that way.

Taurus The Bull: You're not afraid of hard work, so as the rest of us break a sweat you keep your cool. Which is why your bathroom has not one, not two, but three deodorants! Well why not? One for odor, one for perspiration, and one just because.

Gemini The Twins: Mark a page in a book, leave a note on the mirror, write a reminder and stick it on your phone. Post-it notes are high on your list of lovable artifacts. You own them in several sizes and put them to use daily. You don't leave home without them!

Cancer The Crab: Who would have guessed your love of cocktail picks? That's right, colorful umbrellas, crepe paper fruits on a stick - you love that stuff! Not just in drinks either. You'll decorate anything with a pick. You've even used one as a bookmark, haven't you!

Leo The Lion: Wash your face, clean the bathroom counter, eliminate the dust on the dashboard. Baby wipes! You love 'em and use 'em for everything. Why you've been known to color on them with markers just for the awesome watercolor effect!

Virgo The Virgin: With all it's uses and colors you could stay busy for days. You know what I'm talking about: duct tape! Go ahead and enter one of those duct tape contests,creative genius that you are, you'll take top prize.


Libra The Scales: You draw people to you through your powers of attraction. Or could it be your magnets? They're so much fun. Heck, you've dumped small, metal objects on the floor just so you could enjoy the magic of picking them up!


Scorpio The Scorpion: You like to create a special atmosphere to suit your every mood. That's why you so love the dimmer switch. Now it's bright, now it's not. It's like magic! And you know what? It's just plain fun to adjust the darn thing!

Sagittarius The Archer: Some are minty, most are not. The thrill of finding out is what keeps you licking envelopes! And stamps. And gummed tabs. Now if you could avoid the occasional paper cut on the tongue whilst moistening the objects of your interest!

Capricorn The Sea goat: Ever so useful for squeaks, WD-40 makes you happy. That enamel paint you got on the carpet came right off, didn't it? You really love that long, skinny straw that fits into the nozzle. Smells good too....admit it!

Aquarius The Water Bearer: You love the challenge of sudoku and the thrill of a maze. But there's a certain satisfaction you get from lining up the little arrows when you open a bottle of medicine that just can't be explained!


Pisces The Fish: Lots of flavors and lots of scents - these are the reasons that you're passionate about lip balms! No dry lips for you - kissably soft is what you're after, and variety is the spice of your life.

October Blog-O-Scope

The boob word of the day is: Heavenly Canteens. Sounds like something a narrator at a planetarium would point out, "This constellation is known as The Heavenly Canteens, from whence the Milky Way was spilled."

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It's a little known fact, (very little known) that each sign of the zodiac is inextricably (and inexplicably) linked with a particular type of donut. Since ancient times, man and woman have ventured out into the autumn night, gazed up to the heaven's and felt an overwhelming desire to eat donuts. The autumn harvest created a desire for deep-fat-fried puffs of yumminess. I'm not afraid to share this esoteric information with you, as it's all for the betterment of society! In these modern times we don't all go out and harvest but we do still share the cosmic hunger for donuts that our ancestors felt. "But," you say, "I hate donuts!" That's ok! You can always give your donut to someone else. The karmic repercussions are immeasurable!!



Aries The Ram: A raised donut, rolled in granulated sugar tickles your palate. Two tickle twice as much! For extra excitement make it cinnamon sugar, you wild thing! Karmic Points for sharing with cancer.


Taurus The Bull: There's nothing more comforting than a nice gingerbread donut. You might try an even dozen (six for each of your horns). Karmic Points for sharing with Leo.


Gemini The Twins: You don't mind a bit of mess, which is why the classic powdered sugar donut is for you. Go ahead and lick your fingers - live a little! Karmic Points for sharing with Virgo.


Cancer The Crab: A jelly donut brings out the true crab in you: crusty on the outside, all gooey on the inside! Karmic Points for sharing with Libra.



Leo The Lion: Who knew you were so demanding when it comes to donuts? Only an apple-crumb donut will satisfy your jungle hunger. Karmic Points for sharing with Scorpio.


Virgo The Virgin: You like a donut you can sink your teeth into: the cake donut. That's right, keep it simple. Dip it in your coffee for that extra mmmmm factor. Karmic Points for sharing with Sagittarius.


Libra The Scales: Full of surprises, yes you are. Boston creme on the inside, chocolate glaze up top. No hole for you! Karmic Points for sharing with Capricorn.


Scorpio The Scorpion: It comes as no surprise that strawberry frosted suits you just fine. Well, no surprise to anyone but you... Karmic Points for sharing with Aquarius.


Sagittarius The Archer: Picture the lovely raised donut, replete with glaze, and you will see your soul's satisfaction! Karmic Points for sharing with Pisces.



Capricorn The Sea goat: Well aren't you the fussy one, you and your french cruller! Crinkly and sweet...ooh la la. Karmic Points for sharing with Aries.



Aquarius The Water Bearer: Nothing awakens your appetite like a maple frosted donut. Keep one near your alarm clock for waking incentive! Karmic Points for sharing with Taurus.


Pisces The Fish: Close your eyes and breathe in the joy that is the classic chocolate frosted, the tuxedo of donuts. Now this is living! Karmic Points for sharing with Gemini.

Go on to the bakery now and satisfy your donut destiny...and don't forget a napkin! Oh, and Double Karmic Points for sharing with Significant Snail!!

September Blog-O-Scope

Blog-O-Scope is back by popular (or not) demand! Once a month I will do my utmost to provide you with insight regarding your star sign so that your blogging will be one with the cosmos, your chakras will align, your harmonics will converge and, ummm, never-before-seen things will happen...or not.

This month we'll begin with your very special (and individual) star sign colors. It may seem to you that I just randomly chose these colors but be assured that I was guided by the stars in making these selections. Or it could have been the wine...

Take a look at your color here:

List of colors - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Aries The Ram: Sprinkle some Razzmatazz throughout your life and your blog to Jazz things up! This color is especially helpful for inciting comments. Include foods of this color in your daily diet and watch the verbiage flow!


Taurus The Bull: Your gonna get a blast out of blogging and so will your readers when you use Atomic Tangerine! Peel away your blogging inhibitions and juice your imagination for all it's worth.


Gemini The Twins: Don't be timid - use Safety Orange and come out of your shell! Wearing sunglasses this color will inspire you to reach new blogging heights and cause others to see you differently. Very differently.


Cancer The Crab: Expand your horizons with Papaya Whip. Use this versatile color to inflict pain, or conversely to keep things light and fluffy. This color is especially powerful when used in Hawaii. Go there. Use it.


Leo The Lion: Drink a cocktail or two made with Harlequin colored liquor before writing your next post. This color is guaranteed to stir things up in your post. If you prefer shaken, you should have at least three drinks.


Virgo The Virgin: Tyrian Purple is a very influential color! Paint your keyboard this color and you're sure to leave your mark on the blogosphere. Let the paint dry first, though, or extremely colorful words will flow.


Libra The Scales: Give your blog a jolt of energy with Cosmic Latte. As an added bonus, Juan Valdez and his donkey will visit you and provide you with some mountain grown advice. Free!


Scorpio The Scorpion: Nothing says 'I'm choosy' like Selective Yellow! Choose to surround yourself with this color and you will find yourself with many bright ideas for writing. Be sure to wear sunglasses to avoid a glaring headache.


Sagittarius The Archer: People 'round the world will read your blog when you liven it up with International Klein Blue. In fact, you should change the name of your blog to International Klein Blue then sit back and watch the comments roll in.


Capricorn The Sea goat: Zinnwaldite is a color name that says it all! You know how you love a big word, so go ahead and use Zinnwaldite in a sentence in your blog, preferably in a big font created in this color. Say it all. Say it!


Aquarius The Water Bearer: When you change your background color and font to Magic Mint your readers will be mesmerized! They won't believe the verbal sleight of hand they're not seeing. Nobody works the magic like you. Nobody.


Pisces The Fish: Never underestimate the power of Smalt! Ever!! Think about this color, dream it, live it, write about it. Walk in circles while saying it out loud, repeatedly until it makes sense.

Go forth and blog knowing that the forces of the universe are guiding you!

Your Cosmic Blog-O-Scope

YIPPEE boys and girls!! It's your very own Blog-O-Scope! I'm going to open the cosmic world to you by way of interpreting the stars so that you won't make any embarrassing cosmic blogging mistakes. You may ask, "What qualifications does Snail possess that she is able to do this?" The short answer is, "None." The longer answer is, "I've read lots of fortune cookies and horoscopes over the years. Also, I've been around the block a time or so, which leads me to believe I can give cosmic advice as well as anyone!"

I'm feeling inspired by the Flamarion Woodcut, which is the picture you see above. Though created by an unknown artist, the picture first appeared in a book by Camille Flammarion and became known by her name. The musical artist Donovan used this print for the inside cover of his album, "Cosmic Wheels", which came out when I was in 6th grade. A local radio station sponsored a poster coloring contest and our art teacher picked up copies for our own in-school contest. And guess what? I won first place in my class! I think what put me over the top was the use of the Metallic Gold Crayon. That crayon was magic, I tell you! My prize was a gift certificate for a local ice-cream shop. I used that crayon a lot after that...

But, back to the matter at hand. With the help of the stars I will now guide you in your blogging efforts thusly:



Aries The Ram: You are creative, open hearted, and high spirited. For shocking results, use the word electricity next time you post. A tasty reuben sandwich opens many blogging doors for you. Your lucky number is 3.14159.


Taurus The Bull: You are quiet, patient, and affectionate. Your colorful writing skills will be brought to the forefront when you blog in shades of green. When in doubt about a blogging topic, eat some bacon and you will soon be posting.
Your lucky number is -40੦ C/F.


Gemini The Twins: You are clever with words, quick in thought, and full of new ideas. Your sign is ruled by Mercury therefore curried chicken will add some heat to your blog. Yours is a repetitive sign so you should send out a meme! Your lucky number is ½.


Cancer The Crab: You are unpredictable, loyal, and will make any sacrifice for someone in need. Having trouble blogging? Yours is a water sign, so dining along the French Riviera will likely help. Say hello to Pierre for me. Your lucky number is 1776.


Leo The Lion: You are kind, openhearted, and generous. There’s nothing like salad to get the words flowing, but too much could lead to scandalous posting! Stay away from cliffs - you could easily fall off and burst into flames! It doesn’t just happen in the movies! Your lucky number is 911.


Virgo The Virgin: You are intelligent, shy, and charming. Always have handy some strawberries dipped in chocolate as they will help you sink your teeth into your writing. No one will be able to resist your blog, you sexy thing. Your lucky number is 90210.


Libra The Scales: You strive for balance and harmony. You are a born diplomat. A drive through town with a blindfold on will give you much to blog about, once you recover. Beware bad kiwi fruit. Really. Your lucky number is 42.


Scorpio The Scorpion: You are powerful, independent, and passionate. When Pluto, your ruler, is in your 8th house you will hit blogger’s gold, but beware when Pluto enters your condo, as this can only lead to trouble! Your lucky number is 867-5309.



Sagittarius The Archer: You are fun to be with, imaginative, and clever. Tacos will clear your mind's palette so that you can blog freely. Be careful that you do not flame anyone when posting comments – it’s a common problem for a fire sign such as yours! Your lucky number is 26%.


Capricorn The Sea goat: You are ambitious, cautious, and determined. Be daring and have cheese on your broccoli - you will be inspired to greater writing. You are most at home blogging in your 10th house. You know it’s really not right to have so many houses! Your lucky number is 666.


Aquarius The Water Bearer: You refuse to follow the crowd. You are outgoing, and eccentric. As an air sign you tend to live with your head in the clouds. Stop flying kites instead of writing! Clam chowder brings you back to earth and inspires great blogging. Your lucky number is .333333


Pisces The Fish: You are loyal, generous, and will help a friend who has fallen on hard times. Using pictures in your blog, such as The Scream, by Edvard Munch, will add an element of surprise to your next post. Sushi does not become you. Avoid it!! Your lucky number is 01010010.

Now, go forth and blog knowing that the forces of the universe are guiding you!