A Blast From the Past

Today I'd like to share some images with you that come from a 1940's book about dressmaking. This book is awesome for a number of reasons, but one section I particularly enjoy is all about poise, posture and charm! I love the choice of words the author uses to describe every move from gesturing to properly sitting, standing, descending stairs, dressing and even getting into and out of cars. Really. When you consider the difficulty that many celebrities have getting out of cars these days without flashing their lady-bits it's a wonder we don't have a modern version of this book.

"Avoid awkward gestures" is the advice given with the drawings at left. "You don't point, of course, but you may know someone who does. Help her to lose the habit by showing her these pictures." Anyone care to share pictures?? According to the author you should practice every move in order to avoid awkwardness. By the way, don't talk with your hands as it causes you to appear older! Hmmm, and I thought it was the lines, wrinkles and grey hairs that did that...

Now then, shall we examine how we sit?


Sitting isn't just about posture, although she does devote several drawings and paragraphs to that subject. Sitting is actually about being naked! Yes, judging by these pictures, sitting around naked is a-ok! Sitting is also about what you do with your hands and feet. "Feet together is the smart way." According to the author, if you get in the habit of crossing your legs at the knee you may "embarrass yourself and others" while in a drawing room, ballroom or church. Well, we wouldn't want that now would we? Remember, your feet don't need anything to do while you are sitting: "Let them rest side by side on the floor. They have a decorative function." I'm not kidding - it really says that! Your feet are decorations, damn it! Treat them as such!

The book goes on to discuss exercise, diet, and supportive undergarments, as well as the importance of keeping our stocking seams straight, and our belongings tidy.

Which leads us to the dresser.


Is your dresser a delight or a despair? Your dresser drawers should be in "..such immaculate order that they are a delight to you..." If you fall into the despair category it is recommended that you "..prop this book on your dresser, open at this page; then set about putting things to rights." Well, I'll get right on that! Again, be reminded that your dresser serves a decorative purpose and you shouldn't just pile it up with stuff. Oh, I'm failing miserably on that one...Isn't that why we have furniture in bedrooms? So that we can fling our clothing and pile up our stuff rather than just toss it on the floor? If by chance your dresser is not enough of a challenge, the author has a detailed system for sorting, packaging and labeling the contents of your handbag.

Well, what are you waiting for?! Practice away those awkward gestures, strive to be pleasing and smart, and delight in your immaculate dresser!

Coffee Cups and a Quiz...

Good Morning! Welcome to Saturday! Coffee is how I pretty much prefer to start most every day. Sometimes my teenage daughter indulges as well and that's how I came to have this picture. As you can see, I sat down first at the computer to relax and enjoy my coffee. When I got up momentarily, my daughter thought she could just horn in on the action and take over. Well, you can't really see who was there first but you know I'm telling the truth because just who do you think gets up first on a weekend???

So, I come back over to the desk to find two cups of coffee. This is where the quiz comes in. Which cup of coffee belongs to the mom and which to the teen? It's not much of a quiz 'cause the clues are easy. Hey, it's Saturday and I'm not gonna make you think too hard. Someday I'll give you a more difficult quiz. Long and involved. Probably with trick questions.

It's only natural that you find yourself wondering, "Who in hell uses cups and saucers?" Well, I do. I used to have the huge coffee mugs. Then a couple years ago I bought some new dishes since the old ones were missing several pieces. Not that you care why I bought new dishes. Basically I'm not the sort of person to have 5 sets of dishes and there's not enough room around here or I might well do it! Anyway, the set I bought had everything I wanted but instead of mugs it came with cups and saucers. Not even an option to buy mugs separately.

Initially I was a bit bothered about having no mugs. I have other mugs I can use for coffee. But you know what? I have come to prefer my cups and saucers. First of all, when I used a bigger cup/mug the coffee often went cold (or lukewarm) before I ever finished. With these cups my coffee is hot to the last sip. Second, if you aren't careful walking and your coffee is in a mug, the spill lands on your hand or the floor or both. Not a problem with a cup and saucer. Not that I'm all sloppy...well, I have my moments. Third, they don't take up much space in my cupboard. Finally, they just look so darn nice, don't they? Of course I have to make more frequent trips to the kitchen for re-fills, but I just count that as exercise.

Now, the answer you've all been waiting for: the cup of coffee with sugar in it belongs to the teen. Come on now, you know it's the one on the left. And see there? Mine didn't have a spill!

Miscellaneous Me

Here's something you may find hard to believe: I've never made a single mistake. Seriously. I make all my mistakes in multiples - it's much more efficient that way!

I'm short - about 5'2" on a good day, but on the inside I'm just as big as anyone.

A slow-motion, downhill, 360 degree turn on an icy road is kinda scary. Actually, any unintentional, non-forward motion on an icy road is kinda scary. Ok, really scary.

Phyllo 'leaves' are not related to pot. Mmmmm, but they're good when used right. Look it up...

After I graduated from college, but before I got a 'serious' career, I worked on a ranch as a cook. It was an awesome job.

It's never really a good idea to touch a cholla, also known as 'jumping cactus'. They are a lot harder to 'untouch' than your average cactus.

You may call a dandelion a weed, but I prefer to call it a flower.

When I was little I thought babies came out of your belly-button. Now I know better, and the truth hurts! Really!

It's possible to close your head in a door without being drunk or on drugs, especially when you're a teenager.

In 1989 there was an earthquake in the San Francisco Bay area. I lived there at the time. Now I live in Florida, but I'm still more afraid of earthquakes than hurricaines 'cause you can't see an earthquake coming.

You may think that I don't have any cartoon character stuffed animals, but you would be wrong. I also have a couple of sock monkeys.

Real butter is better than margarine, sugar is better than artificial sweetener, lard makes a dandy pie crust, and coffee is better with real creamer. Moderation is the key.

Never let a small frog loose in your parents car.

If someone asks you about the space between your ears, do not reply with the question, "What space?". I was young, ok?

Your Cosmic Blog-O-Scope

YIPPEE boys and girls!! It's your very own Blog-O-Scope! I'm going to open the cosmic world to you by way of interpreting the stars so that you won't make any embarrassing cosmic blogging mistakes. You may ask, "What qualifications does Snail possess that she is able to do this?" The short answer is, "None." The longer answer is, "I've read lots of fortune cookies and horoscopes over the years. Also, I've been around the block a time or so, which leads me to believe I can give cosmic advice as well as anyone!"

I'm feeling inspired by the Flamarion Woodcut, which is the picture you see above. Though created by an unknown artist, the picture first appeared in a book by Camille Flammarion and became known by her name. The musical artist Donovan used this print for the inside cover of his album, "Cosmic Wheels", which came out when I was in 6th grade. A local radio station sponsored a poster coloring contest and our art teacher picked up copies for our own in-school contest. And guess what? I won first place in my class! I think what put me over the top was the use of the Metallic Gold Crayon. That crayon was magic, I tell you! My prize was a gift certificate for a local ice-cream shop. I used that crayon a lot after that...

But, back to the matter at hand. With the help of the stars I will now guide you in your blogging efforts thusly:



Aries The Ram: You are creative, open hearted, and high spirited. For shocking results, use the word electricity next time you post. A tasty reuben sandwich opens many blogging doors for you. Your lucky number is 3.14159.


Taurus The Bull: You are quiet, patient, and affectionate. Your colorful writing skills will be brought to the forefront when you blog in shades of green. When in doubt about a blogging topic, eat some bacon and you will soon be posting.
Your lucky number is -40੦ C/F.


Gemini The Twins: You are clever with words, quick in thought, and full of new ideas. Your sign is ruled by Mercury therefore curried chicken will add some heat to your blog. Yours is a repetitive sign so you should send out a meme! Your lucky number is ½.


Cancer The Crab: You are unpredictable, loyal, and will make any sacrifice for someone in need. Having trouble blogging? Yours is a water sign, so dining along the French Riviera will likely help. Say hello to Pierre for me. Your lucky number is 1776.


Leo The Lion: You are kind, openhearted, and generous. There’s nothing like salad to get the words flowing, but too much could lead to scandalous posting! Stay away from cliffs - you could easily fall off and burst into flames! It doesn’t just happen in the movies! Your lucky number is 911.


Virgo The Virgin: You are intelligent, shy, and charming. Always have handy some strawberries dipped in chocolate as they will help you sink your teeth into your writing. No one will be able to resist your blog, you sexy thing. Your lucky number is 90210.


Libra The Scales: You strive for balance and harmony. You are a born diplomat. A drive through town with a blindfold on will give you much to blog about, once you recover. Beware bad kiwi fruit. Really. Your lucky number is 42.


Scorpio The Scorpion: You are powerful, independent, and passionate. When Pluto, your ruler, is in your 8th house you will hit blogger’s gold, but beware when Pluto enters your condo, as this can only lead to trouble! Your lucky number is 867-5309.



Sagittarius The Archer: You are fun to be with, imaginative, and clever. Tacos will clear your mind's palette so that you can blog freely. Be careful that you do not flame anyone when posting comments – it’s a common problem for a fire sign such as yours! Your lucky number is 26%.


Capricorn The Sea goat: You are ambitious, cautious, and determined. Be daring and have cheese on your broccoli - you will be inspired to greater writing. You are most at home blogging in your 10th house. You know it’s really not right to have so many houses! Your lucky number is 666.


Aquarius The Water Bearer: You refuse to follow the crowd. You are outgoing, and eccentric. As an air sign you tend to live with your head in the clouds. Stop flying kites instead of writing! Clam chowder brings you back to earth and inspires great blogging. Your lucky number is .333333


Pisces The Fish: You are loyal, generous, and will help a friend who has fallen on hard times. Using pictures in your blog, such as The Scream, by Edvard Munch, will add an element of surprise to your next post. Sushi does not become you. Avoid it!! Your lucky number is 01010010.

Now, go forth and blog knowing that the forces of the universe are guiding you!

Allergic to August

I think I'm allergic to August,
July posed no problem for me.
No sniffles, no sneezes, no headaches,
and the temp stayed below one-o-three.

I must be allergic to August,
how else to explain the iced-tea?
How else to explain the afternoon nap
and the aversion to humidity?

The days how they pass by so slowly.
To Alaska I wish I could flee.
The cure takes too long in it's coming,
for September is my remedy.

Fur Beasts

I've just downloaded some pictures from my camera and thought I'd share a couple with you. No family is complete without a fur beast or two. Sure, it always starts with one, but pets are like Lay's potato chips...one just never seems to be enough. Without further ado I give you Finko and Rafik. First we'll have a look at Finko. Here she is on display with my daughter's Vera Bradley bag.

 

Finko joined us a little over two years ago. She was a street kitty that a co-worker found. She was about 8 weeks old, scrawny and had a big lump part way down her tail which I assumed meant it was broken. Since it didn't seem to hurt her I thought I would take her home and clean her up and then make a vet appointment. After her bath I put her down on the floor and she began grooming herself. A couple minutes later I looked over and a good portion of her tail was about to come off! Basically it was hanging by a thread where the lump had been. Finko didn't seem to be in pain and there was very little blood. My first instinct was to bundle her into her carrier and rush her to the animal hospital. Then I realized that the tail would be off before we got there and it wasn't likely to rejoin her again in this life. You can see her evil glare in this shot - that's the 'don't touch me and expect to live' look.

 

I did the only thing I could and immediately left the room to avoid the grossness factor of watching her finish the 'removal' process. Next day we saw the vet, got ointment and shots and went home. But the fun wasn't over. The hair on the remaining portion of her tail began to come out and to this day only half of her tail has hair and the rest has a really bad comb over. As I mentioned, I left the room when I saw her tail coming off, and when I returned the tail was gone. I hadn't counted on it disappearing! For a split second I wondered if she could have eaten it. Naw...she must have played with it. Great, now there was a piece of cat tail lost in my living room. The girls and I searched, but she was small and had likely gone under the sofa and left it there. Who wants to reach way under there and feel for a tail? None of us, that's for sure. One morning about a week later I came out and there was the tail in the middle of the floor. She had apparently found it and played with it during the night. This time it disappeared for good. Next you see Rafik looking innocent. Don't be fooled.

 

Rafik is 5 months old and is the second fur member of the family. Rafik was also a street kitty and also came to us via a co-worker, though not the same one. Rafik's street days must not have been as bad as Finko's for she is much less shy and shows more affection at an earlier age than Finko did. She is also much more compliant when my 12 year old dresses her in clothes. My youngest has some stuffed animals with clothes that are just the right size for Rafik, and so Rafik must bear the occasional humiliation of being dressed up and photographed. Here you see her in her "Pimp My Cat" look. All she needs is some bling.

 

Finko gets lots of exercise now thanks to Rafik, and she no longer pounces on the girls and I. When these two aren't sleeping they're busy chasing each other about. They get pretty rough, and Finko could easily kick butt and take names but she goes easy on Rafik. I don't anticipate adding any more fur beasts to the mix as I have no intention of becoming a crazy cat lady. The fur beasts appear below in their natural habitat. They're so cute when they sleep....

 

Ten Things I Like ...

...followed by ten things I don't, in no particular order.

LIKES

1. Home made mashed potatoes
2. Pachelbel's Canon in D
3. Warm, furry animals
4. A cold beer on a hot day
5. Peonies
6. Blueberry pie, home made
7. Get Fuzzy
8. A starry sky (especially while camping or at the beach)
9. Frogs
10. Mountains

DISLIKES

1. Artificial sweetener
2. The term 'brain fart'
3. Whip It, by Devo (someone in my dorm played it entirely too much)
4. Cockroaches
5. Spilled sugar found on the kitchen floor by my bare feet
6. Boxing
7. Romance novels
8. Pointy toed shoes
9. Walking into unseen spider webs
10. Ferrets