This evening my daughter and I were browsing in a local import store when we came across the bundles you see in the photo here. It started innocently enough when we came across a barrel at the end of a deserted aisle which contained bundles of bamboo - Exhibit A, seen on the right in the photo. My beloved daughter proceeded to pick up a bundle and pseudo-smack me with it in a dramatic, ninja-like fashion. Keep in mind that there were no witnesses to my beating. My response was swift. After she put back her bundle I picked up an adjacent bundle of HARMLESS thatchy stuff and began to poke and torment her with it - Exhibit B, seen on the left in the photo. Of course what I didn't know is that just as I began to harrass her, a lady came down the aisle behind me (headed to the bathroom) and my daughter, seeing the witness, said loudly, "Mom! Stop being a child!" At this point I saw said woman and put down my bundle of thatchy stuff. As you can imagine, I got a funny look. My daughter and I went on browsing through the store without further ado but with much laughter at her perfect set up.
Eventually we decided that this episode needed to be posted here, with photo evidence. So, we walked back, set up the bundles and took the picture above JUST AS THE WOMAN CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM! My daughter, of course, had bolted around the corner so that I was the only one getting the weird looks again! This entire incident made my daughter's day. One can only imagine what this woman was doing in the bathroom all this time - maybe calling the police to report a psychotic woman, beating her child in public! "Just stay in your stall ma'am, and we'll send someone right over. If you see her again, do not engage the suspect. Just walk away as discretely as possible." Imagine her conversation when she got home. "Honey,you should have seen the way that woman treated her precious child - some people shouldn't be ALLOWED to have children! Beating her with sticks!"
They weren't sticks. They were switches, bitches.
Check it out, ladies - how about that breastplate! Mmmm-mmmmm!
Is this not the most mesmerizing bra ever? Are you getting dizzy just gazing at it? I think it would take a hypnotist to convince me to contort my breasts into this bra. Bet I'd get lots of looks if my chest poked out in double pyramid fashion. Hmmmm. Well, now that I have your attention, please visit the breast cancer link over there on the left side of my page and click to fund mammograms. If you don't, the Brassiere Fairy will visit you during the night and force you into the double pyramid. And believe me, it won't be an uplifting experience. 
This evening my daughter and I were browsing in a local import store when we came across the bundles you see in the photo here. It started innocently enough when we came across a barrel at the end of a deserted aisle which contained bundles of bamboo - Exhibit A, seen on the right in the photo. My beloved daughter proceeded to pick up a bundle and pseudo-smack me with it in a dramatic, ninja-like fashion. Keep in mind that there were no witnesses to my beating. My response was swift. After she put back her bundle I picked up an adjacent bundle of HARMLESS thatchy stuff and began to poke and torment her with it - Exhibit B, seen on the left in the photo. Of course what I didn't know is that just as I began to harrass her, a lady came down the aisle behind me (headed to the bathroom) and my daughter, seeing the witness, said loudly, "Mom! Stop being a child!" At this point I saw said woman and put down my bundle of thatchy stuff. As you can imagine, I got a funny look. My daughter and I went on browsing through the store without further ado but with much laughter at her perfect set up. 
