Change Is Good - You Go First . . .

I saw that little quip on a sign the other day and it gave me a good laugh. I don't think I make changes too easily - little ones, yes. I have made some hairstyle changes on a whim a few times, but hair grows out. You mess up your hair, you regret it for a few weeks and eventually it gets good again. I did cry once after a particularly bad perm, but other than that the hair changes I regretted were not particularly overwhelming. Bored with the color of the towels? Pick a new color and redecorate the bathroom. Buying new dishes? Well, that one took more thought but still nothing too difficult. But the bigger the change, the more time I take about it - I just won't do a thing until I'm darn good and ready. I've got to shop around, think it through, psyche myself into making a change - even when it would be in my best interest to go ahead and just make the change. A big decision can't be made unless I've agonized my way through it. Yeah, I procrastinate on the big stuff.

There are times when changes are forced on us in a hurry and we can't sit back and watch while someone else goes first. Being a middle child you get to see your older siblings grow and change and do things first and that takes away some of the scariness factor of growing and changing. But sometimes we don't have the luxury of thinking things through or waiting to wrap our heads around a new idea. Sometimes we can't wait while someone else goes first because it's our turn to be first. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow or be dragged kicking and screaming to the next destination in life.

Lately I've been thinking about making changes. I've grown complacent in some ways and I need to shake things up, get out of the rut. It's time for something new, like.... dating. Ouch! That one's tough. Here comes the kicking and screaming. I've been single for four years now, so certainly it's time I dipped my toes back in the water. That's no small feat for someone who imagines alligators and poisonous snakes in the water. Various people have been after me from time to time to get out there and start dating but I've successfully ignored them. There's just too much scariness factor and I could spend the rest of my life wrapping my head around the idea of dating again.

Well, I think that's about to change as I've been talking with someone lately that I just can't seem to ignore anymore. Seriously, this guy has been my neighbor for about a year now and it's taken me this long to really talk to him. You know, like having a conversation that lasts more than, say, thirty seconds. In fact, we've gone out walking together a couple of times now and had actual conversations! Really! I'm not even making this up! "Danger Will Robinson!" says the voice in my head. But what do you know, the earth didn't open up and swallow me. I didn't insert my foot in my mouth (that I know of), and I didn't keel over with a heart attack. Somehow I don't seem to have scared him away. Apparently I still know how to make conversation. Ok, so there's a big difference between talking and dating, but talking is a start. Change is on the way...and it looks like I'm up to bat.