Hey Diddle, Diddle, There's Methane on Mars!

I've read in the news recently of confirmation that there is methane on Mars. Methane is an important indicator of the potential for life on a planet. There are some theories as to how that methane is being produced, which is important because the cause of production could indicate Martian life forms of some sort.

Well, I have my own theory about Mars and it's methane. Cows. That's right, subterranean cows. I'm not talking about your average, run of the mill cows. I'm talking about the super intelligent bovine beings alluded to by Mother Goose. What, you didn't know that the Mother Goose nursery rhymes were actually based on the realities of life? Just as "Ring Around the Rosy" is about Bubonic plague, "Hey Diddle, Diddle" depicts the eyewitness account of cows leaving Earth to inhabit Mars.

You see, the Earth once had a race of super-intelligent cows. These 'smart-cows', if you will, realized that they could not live in peace here due to the beef eating nature of people and animal predators. Sure, they were safe enough in India, where they were revered for their brains and Godliness. But in much of the rest of the world they were not so lucky. So they did their homework and using advanced technology beyond our current understanding, they 'jumped over the moon' as the people in the 1600's described it, and established subterranean colonies on Mars.

Why subterranean? Well, they couldn't very well live on the cold, desolate surface! Using more of that yet to be understood technology, they set up shop underground (like the book/movie City of Ember) and out of sight of our prying eyes. Now, however, our own technology has advanced to a point where we have discovered their methane. It's only a matter of time before we send up some space ranchers to extract the Martian beef and import it back to Earth.

Hey diddle, diddle the villagers were distracted
The cat and the fiddle this was the distraction
The cow jumped over the moon the cows made their escape, thanks to distraction
The little dog laughed at the distracted villagers
To see such sport foolish villagers and space bound cows
And the dish ran away lots of gossip afterword
With the spoon. by the 'silver' tongued witness who wrote this rhyme


I rest my case.