Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Realistic Resolutions We Might Actually Be Able to Keep

Once again we find ourselves on the cusp of a new year, making the annual list of resolutions that are designed to improve our lives in the coming year. You and I both know how tough this can be, so I've compiled a list to help you out. This list is based on actual scientific internet research of the top resolutions made by people just like you and me. You heard me right: Scientific Internet Research. It doesn't get more real (or important) than that! Listed below, in bold lettering, are some popular resolutions - each followed by a more realistic version. If you want to make your own list just remember to think outside the box. Behold, my

List of Realistic Resolutions We Might Actually Be Able to Keep.

Enjoy Life More: you can start by not making lists of resolutions. If you feel you must, then just make one.

Find My Soul Mate: okay, well, first I have to find my was around here somewhere...Ok, so realistically - start a blog! I'll let you know how that one works out...

Lose Weight: this can be achieved in numerous ways. Like buying lighter shoes or removing some of the contents of your wallet, pocket or purse. If it makes it easier for you just send all of your change to me....

Get In Shape: hey, who says you have to specify a shape? Any shape will do.

Stop Swearing: just swear more creatively! Think Yosemite Sam (sassafrassa, ricka-racka....)Holy Moley, you didn't expect me to just quit straight up, did you?

Take a Trip: work is a fascinating destination, in fact, you can practice your creative swearing there!

Get Organized: even something simple like making your bed more often. Not saying how often, just more often! Or buy a filing cabinet - as long as no one opens it, they'll think you're organized!

Do Something I've Never Done Before: like keep a resolution? Nah...too hard.

Drink Less Alcohol: is this one of those quality versus quantity issues? I think I could give up the cheap stuff for something better. That's do-able.

Attend a Live Sporting Event: yes, traffic counts.

Stick to a Budget: write it out and then use velcro or super-glue. Where you stick it is your business.

Help Others: I think this list counts - I am helping you, right? Again, think outside the box - sometimes leaving people alone is helping...

Stop smoking: just go ahead and spontaneously combust! Let me know how that works for you.

P.S. Have a Happy New Year and a safe and fun celebration!


LUCKY said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thats funny!

RisibleGirl said...

Here's mine. No more broken bones or head bonks.

Let's see if I can go more than six months this time.