The Horror Flick We Never Saw

Someone asked me recently how I came to call my blog Significant Snail. Hmmm, when I was putting together my blog I came across this template and it just looked interesting. What's that you say? A snail is interesting? Well, yeah, if your me I guess. Besides, it's a pretty handsome looking snail (so far as snails go)...no oozing slime trail behind it. In fact, the only thing that should trail a snail is garlic butter - all the way from the plate to my mouth. You realize of course that the French invented escargot as a fancy way to serve garlic butter, right? No really - it's true!! The reason they needed to serve garlic butter is because they needed something to wash down with all that wine they make!! Go ahead, look it up on Wikipedia!! Or don't.

I bet you wonder how I came to be so knowledgeable. Yeah, me too. I'm a veritable font of information. Go ahead, ask me something! You can ask me things like, "Dear Snail (I won't make you type out the word significant 'cause I'm just nice like that) do moth's really have balls?" I'll be more than happy to answer and provide you with all of the details I have - even if I have to make them up!! You deserve substantial (and significant) answers, even if they aren't totally correct....

As for the word significant, well, that snail looks like he could be significant. From the right perspective he could (for all we know) be a GIANT snail on the edge of a HUGE cliff!! Something from a Creature Features flick. Yes,I used to stay up late on Friday nights to watch the horror flicks as a kid. The movie goes something like this: giant snails start devouring all the vineyards in France thus creating pandemonium (slow pandemonium, but pandemonium none the less). Eventually, the best chefs in France are called upon to save the vines by concocting a plan to run the giant snails off a cliff into a vat of garlic butter! Much rejoicing and wine drinking ensues. THE END.

No, I haven't been drinking wine while writing this. Now that's scary.