Friday, July 18, 2008

Ladys and Gentlemen, I Give You the 'Anti-Heart'

I HATE technology!! Ok, hate is a strong word...I EXTREMELY DISLIKE technology!! Well, not exactly all the time, I guess. Just when I have problems. Problems like my computer being slow or pages not loading properly, etc. So I'm thinking about those bumper stickers - you know the ones: I 'heart' Horses or I 'heart' Dogs. Isn't there a hate symbol? (I mean besides the obvious raised middle finger...) I want to see some 'hate symbol' bumper stickers. I 'hate symbol' asshole drivers (haters, liver and onions, mosquitoes, fill in the blank with whatever you hate). Maybe an upside-down blackened heart symbol?? With a lightening bolt through it??? The "Anti-Heart" so to speak. Actually I love technology because it makes life so much easier - when it works properly. Or when I am able to make it work properly.

I admit (grudgingly) that some of the problem is my own. And some of the fault lies with my children and the stupid music/games/whatever that they have on the computer. Never mind that I sometimes rely on them to help me with the computer when I don't know what I'm doing... At any rate, my computer was acting up so I de-fragged and ran one of those spyware programs so things have improved. It's just irritating at the end of the workday to come home ready to cruise the net and relax only to find that you can't.

It's especially irritating after last night when I spent forever on the phone with a foreigner, setting up my new cell phone service. Oh yeah, you know the joy that is customer service from some unpronounceable country where people have heavy accents. To be honest, the woman who helped me activate my phones and update my service was quite patient. Very patient. I'll re-cap the experience for you. My cell plan expired and it was time to upgrade the plan, replace two phones, and add a third line. Two of the new phones are the same and have reasonable sized buttons. One phone had microscopic buttons. I would have given my techno-capable teenager this chore but she was working late and I wanted to get it done before bedtime.

First the service rep wanted serial numbers....there were bunches of numbers (really tiny numbers) located under the battery, where she asked me to look but some of what she described didn't really fit in with what was actually in front of me. I could probably (note the denial here) use some reading glasses for this sort of thing. Then I had to enter numbers and # signs, etc. This was all easy enough on the two reasonable phones but not so much on the micro-button phone. I hit a wrong button and then the problem I created didn't fit neatly into the prompter world of the service rep. GAWD!!!! We finally got there. Then she realized one phone was on a separate plan from the others...this took more time to resolve. Again, we eventually got it all sorted out and the phones are working.

Did I say the phones are working? Quite well?? Did I mention that I am texting-impaired? Did I mention that my girls know this and think it's funny? Did I tell you one of them thought it would be funny to text me at midnight to ask if I'm asleep? Yeah, those two are a regular laugh riot. They texted me at work today too, "Hey mom, you can't text ha ha". I'm thinking justifiable homicide. No jury would convict me would they? Or I could send them to K-Fed, it worked for Britney.

P.S. How about my fantastic artistic skills!! Do you like my anti-heart symbol? Talent such as mine should not go untapped. Hey,don't be hatin'!


Mahala said...

Me and the Amazon have had words about texting. She has the unlimited plan, I pay per text. I had to put my foot down when she'd text me from work to say "there was just this TOTALLY cute guy in here."

I told her it wasn't worth .20 to text me that. Pick up the phone and call me.. it's free lol.

Significant Snail said...

The phone is free, quick and easier than texting. And you don't have to decipher text talk spelling...
call me old fashioned...


capitulatenow said...

Hey there, thanks for the link! Gimme a day or two to get off my lazy butt and reciprocate.

My mom likes to send me picture texts, which drives my husband insane. He might start billing her for them.

No Cool Story said...

I love the anti-heart.
I could see many uses for it, so you may be onto something here.

My teenage Fashionista can text with her eyes closed. It takes me forever to type 2 words, and as your girls, she finds this very amusing.