Here's something you may find hard to believe: I've never made a single mistake. Seriously. I make all my mistakes in multiples - it's much more efficient that way!
I'm short - about 5'2" on a good day, but on the inside I'm just as big as anyone.
A slow-motion, downhill, 360 degree turn on an icy road is kinda scary. Actually, any unintentional, non-forward motion on an icy road is kinda scary. Ok, really scary.
Phyllo 'leaves' are not related to pot. Mmmmm, but they're good when used right. Look it up...
After I graduated from college, but before I got a 'serious' career, I worked on a ranch as a cook. It was an awesome job.
It's never really a good idea to touch a cholla, also known as 'jumping cactus'. They are a lot harder to 'untouch' than your average cactus.
You may call a dandelion a weed, but I prefer to call it a flower.
When I was little I thought babies came out of your belly-button. Now I know better, and the truth hurts! Really!
It's possible to close your head in a door without being drunk or on drugs, especially when you're a teenager.
In 1989 there was an earthquake in the San Francisco Bay area. I lived there at the time. Now I live in Florida, but I'm still more afraid of earthquakes than hurricaines 'cause you can't see an earthquake coming.
You may think that I don't have any cartoon character stuffed animals, but you would be wrong. I also have a couple of sock monkeys.
Real butter is better than margarine, sugar is better than artificial sweetener, lard makes a dandy pie crust, and coffee is better with real creamer. Moderation is the key.
Never let a small frog loose in your parents car.
If someone asks you about the space between your ears, do not reply with the question, "What space?". I was young, ok?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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8 comments:
"It's possible to close your head in a door without being drunk or on drugs, especially when you're a teenager."
having said teenager, I just about fell out of my chair on this one!
Monkeydragon: I am so glad to hear that I wasn't the only one foolish enough to do this...
They may come out of your belly button but how do they get IN there, that's the mystery... :)
wise, wise words.
I was in Arcata (northern, northern really northern California) when the 89 quake hit San Francisco. Then I moved to L.A. to get closer to the action. I was here for the Northridge quake, but not close enough! A bottle of nail polish fell over in my bathroom. I was, however, on the 12th floor in my office building in L.A. when that last one hit a few weeks ago. That was fun!
Scaramouche: I don't know, still haven't figured that one out..
Nannygoat: I would hate to be in a tall building for an earthquake! I was lucky that I wasn't in a hard hit neighborhood - I just had some mess to clean up inside.
I like this style.
When I write jokes for comedy
it looks a lot like this.
And yet yours is so happy
Well if i need to grin...
Here I find myself.
Ahem!!!
What about Jean-Guy???? (AKA: Etienne)...
HMMMM??????
Don't you worry about Jean-Guy...he'll make it onto a post one day..
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