Friday, October 3, 2008

October Blog-O-Scope

The boob word of the day is: Heavenly Canteens. Sounds like something a narrator at a planetarium would point out, "This constellation is known as The Heavenly Canteens, from whence the Milky Way was spilled."


It's a little known fact, (very little known) that each sign of the zodiac is inextricably (and inexplicably) linked with a particular type of donut. Since ancient times, man and woman have ventured out into the autumn night, gazed up to the heaven's and felt an overwhelming desire to eat donuts. The autumn harvest created a desire for deep-fat-fried puffs of yumminess. I'm not afraid to share this esoteric information with you, as it's all for the betterment of society! In these modern times we don't all go out and harvest but we do still share the cosmic hunger for donuts that our ancestors felt. "But," you say, "I hate donuts!" That's ok! You can always give your donut to someone else. The karmic repercussions are immeasurable!!

Aries The Ram: A raised donut, rolled in granulated sugar tickles your palate. Two tickle twice as much! For extra excitement make it cinnamon sugar, you wild thing! Karmic Points for sharing with cancer.

Taurus The Bull: There's nothing more comforting than a nice gingerbread donut. You might try an even dozen (six for each of your horns). Karmic Points for sharing with Leo.

Gemini The Twins: You don't mind a bit of mess, which is why the classic powdered sugar donut is for you. Go ahead and lick your fingers - live a little! Karmic Points for sharing with Virgo.

Cancer The Crab: A jelly donut brings out the true crab in you: crusty on the outside, all gooey on the inside! Karmic Points for sharing with Libra.

Leo The Lion: Who knew you were so demanding when it comes to donuts? Only an apple-crumb donut will satisfy your jungle hunger. Karmic Points for sharing with Scorpio.

Virgo The Virgin: You like a donut you can sink your teeth into: the cake donut. That's right, keep it simple. Dip it in your coffee for that extra mmmmm factor. Karmic Points for sharing with Sagittarius.

Libra The Scales: Full of surprises, yes you are. Boston creme on the inside, chocolate glaze up top. No hole for you! Karmic Points for sharing with Capricorn.

Scorpio The Scorpion: It comes as no surprise that strawberry frosted suits you just fine. Well, no surprise to anyone but you... Karmic Points for sharing with Aquarius.

Sagittarius The Archer: Picture the lovely raised donut, replete with glaze, and you will see your soul's satisfaction! Karmic Points for sharing with Pisces.

Capricorn The Sea goat: Well aren't you the fussy one, you and your french cruller! Crinkly and sweet...ooh la la. Karmic Points for sharing with Aries.

Aquarius The Water Bearer: Nothing awakens your appetite like a maple frosted donut. Keep one near your alarm clock for waking incentive! Karmic Points for sharing with Taurus.

Pisces The Fish: Close your eyes and breathe in the joy that is the classic chocolate frosted, the tuxedo of donuts. Now this is living! Karmic Points for sharing with Gemini.

Go on to the bakery now and satisfy your donut destiny...and don't forget a napkin! Oh, and Double Karmic Points for sharing with Significant Snail!!


scaramouche jones said...

I am surprised. I much prefer caramel coated vanilla custard to strawberry..

Significant Snail said...

mouche: yes, the stars are full of surprises, aren't they? caramel coated vanilla they make that? I'm really hungry just now..

LUCKY said...

Ok now ya made me hungry!

LUCKY said...

By the way you've got to try a maple bar with bacon on it, the best of sweet and salty!!!!

LUCKY said...

For you doughnut

Significant Snail said...

lucky: I made me hungry too. The maple/bacon thing does sound good

voodoodoughnut....sounds very interesting! I'll check it out